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  Lawyer Faces Discipline For Phony Celebrity Photos   (Reuters)
  • A state bar investigation found that she had superimposed images of herself into numerous celebrity photographs posted on her website's "publicity" page.
  •   Man Who Ate Napikins To Conceal Insider Trading Pleads Guilty   (Reuters)
  • A mortgage broker, who would scribble secret stock tips on napkins and pass them to an accomplice in Grand Central station before eating them, pleaded guilty to insider trading.
  •   Fraudster Fails To Fool With Fake Funeral   (UPI)
  • The only person fooled by a wanted man's attempt to fake his own funeral was his prematurely-mourning grandmother.
  •   Woman Pays Taxes With 66 Pounds Of Coins   (UPI)
  • A woman who used 66 pounds of coins to pay her $268 tax bill said she was angry about having to sell her car to raise the sum.
  •   Booby Trap Covers Officer In Manure   (UPI)
  • A police officer monitoring motorists was covered in manure by an explosive booby trap likely meant to target traffic cops
  •   Missing Driver Says He Woke Up In A Field Of Donkeys   (Associated Press)
  • A driver who went missing after a one-car rollover in says he later woke up in a field of donkeys.
  •   Burned Armpit Hair Led To Car Crash   (Associated Press)
  • A car full of teenagers crashed after one of the passengers lit the driver's armpit hair on fire with a lighter.
  •   Coroner Advises Residents To Shoot Burglars   (Reuters)
  • A coroner who advised residents to arm themselves and shoot home intruders said that he had been angered over a recent spate of burglaries and was not seeking to drum up business.
  •   Man Used Banana To Rob Store   (Associated Press)
  • A man used a banana he swiped from a convenience store counter to simulate a gun while he robbed the place.
  •   Factory Gives Fighter Jet To Head Of Church   (Reuters)
  • The head of the Russian Orthodox Church was presented with an unlikely gift for a religious leader this week as he toured a factory -- a model single-seater fighter jet SU-35.
  •   Teen Admits Rubbing Scrotum on Customer's Pizza   (UPI)
  • A teen employee at a pizzeria rubbed his testicles on a pizza because he was upset the customer had ordered it close to closing time.
  •   Brothers' Bickering Tips Off Cops to Pot Plants   (UPI)
  • A complaint of two men having a loud argument in an apartment's courtyard led police to brothers bickering about the irrigation system for their marijuana plants.
  •   Beer Festival Features Brew Made with Weasel Poop   (UPI)
  • Among the 274 beers at the Snallygaster beer festival was a brew with a most unusual ingredient -- coffee beans salvaged from weasel poop.
  •   Brain Tumor Removed from Goldfish   (UPI)
  • Surgery to remove a brain tumor from a 10-year-old goldfish was a complete success.
  •   Mom Complains of Swearing Barbie Doll   (UPI)
  • A mother was shocked when her daughter's talking Barbie doll blurted out a profane expression.
  •   Fugitive Busted Playing Ultimate Frisbee   (UPI)
  • A man wanted for armed bank robbery was arrested when he surfaced to play in an ultimate frisbee tournament.
  •   Man Accused of Cooking Ex-Girlfriend's Dog   (Reuters)
  • A man is in police custody after stealing his ex-girlfriend's pet dog, cooking it and feeding it to her, police said.
  •   Gun-Toting Woman Threatens Boy Over Clarinet Practice   (Reuters)
  • Deputies arrested a 60-year-old woman who pointed a rifle at her neighbor's 11-year-old son as he played his clarinet in the backyard.
  •   Burger King To Debut Black Cheeseburger   (UPI)
  • The Kuro Pearl burger costs 480 yen, or roughly $4.80, and features bamboo charcoal cheese and bun, an onion and garlic sauce made with squid ink and a beef patty seasoned with black pepper.
  •   Man Sleepwalks Off Cliff, Suffers Minor Injuries   (Reuters)
  • A man fell 60 feet off a cliff while sleepwalking in a national forest, but suffered only minor injuries.
  •   Church Members See Face Of Jesus In Pierogi   (UPI)
  • Members of a church said they were "shocked" to see the face of Jesus on a pierogi during their church festival.
  •   Working Teapot Constructed From Chocolate   (UPI)
  • A group of chocolatiers said they disproved the sarcastic phrase "useful as a chocolate teapot" by creating a working teapot from chocolate.
  •   Waiter Smashes World Beer-Carrying Record   (The Mirror)
  • Hardly a drop spilled as man wins a competition to transport two large armfuls of heavy ale-filed mugs.
  •   100 Onions Grown By 5th-Graders Stolen   (Associated Press)
  • It was supposed to be a lesson in growing your own food, healthy eating and helping the less fortunate.
  •   Parents Sue Day Care Center For Duct Taping Child To Nap Mat   (Reuters)
  • A couple has filed a lawsuit against the owners of a day care center for duct-taping their 2-year-old son to a mat because he was unruly at nap time.
  •   Nine-Year-Old Takes City Bus For A Spin   (UPI)
  • A 9-year-old can't legally be charged for stealing a city bus and going for a joyride, but is probably going to be grounded for quite a while after his little stunt.
  •   Deer Back Up Traffic On Golden Gate Bridge   (UPI)
  • A couple of deer decided to do a little site-seeing and took a stroll on the Golden Gate Bridge during rush hour.
  •   Police Nab Members Of Pizza Gang   (UPI)
  • A police officer went undercover to nab members of a gang behind three recent attacks on pizza delivery drivers.
  •   Restaurant Bans Ketchup For Anyone Over 10 Years Old   (UPI)
  • "Chef reserves the right to refuse service of ketchup," reads the menu.
  •   Teen Solves Three Rubik's Cubes Under Water   (UPI)
  • A 17-year-old swimmer is gaining international fame for an online video depicting him solving three Rubik's cubes underwater in a single breath.
  •   Judge Orders Lawyer To Wear Socks In Court   (UPI)
  • A judge threatened a lawyer with sanctions if he appears again in court without socks on his feet.
  •   Comedian Joan Rivers Dies at Age 81   (Reuters)
  • The comedian Joan Rivers has died in New York, a week after she suffered cardiac arrest during an outpatient medical procedure.
  •   Ex Beauty Queen Accused Of Stealing Crown   (Associated Press)
  • An international beauty queen has absconded with her $100,000 crown after being stripped of her title for being rude and dishonest.
  •   University Starts Semester With Giant Clambake   (Associated Press)
  • The new school year has started with a record-setting feast.
  •   McDonald's Forced To Ditch Golden Arches For Turquoise Sign   (The Daily Mail)
  • A McDonald's has become the first of its kind after scrapping the company's Golden Arches in favour of a turquoise letter 'M'.
  •   Cat's Resistance To Flea Bath Hospitalizes Owner   (UPI)
  • A woman was hospitalized for six days following a disastrous attempt to give her Persian cat a flea bath.
  •   Airplane-Sized "Fatberg" Blocked Sewer   (UPI)
  • Sewer officials said a flooding problem was traced to a "fatberg" the size of Boeing 747 plane beneath a residential neighborhood.
  •   Space Geckos Found Dead Upon Return To Earth   (UPI)
  • Five geckos launched into space so scientists could observe the effect of weightlessness on sex have paid the ultimate price for their place in scientific history.
  •   Lawn Painters Bring The Green In Drought   (The Sacramento Bee)
  • Using nontoxic, emerald-hued paints, lawn painters can transform even completely dead lawns to look about as lush as a golf green.
  •   Brewery Unveils 99-Pack Of Beer   (Reuters)
  • The 7-foot-long pack consists of three rows of 33 cans that tip the scales at 82 pounds and will have a retail price of about $99.
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