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  Ex Beauty Queen Accused Of Stealing Crown   (Associated Press)
  • An international beauty queen has absconded with her $100,000 crown after being stripped of her title for being rude and dishonest.
  •   University Starts Semester With Giant Clambake   (Associated Press)
  • The new school year has started with a record-setting feast.
  •   McDonald's Forced To Ditch Golden Arches For Turquoise Sign   (The Daily Mail)
  • A McDonald's has become the first of its kind after scrapping the company's Golden Arches in favour of a turquoise letter 'M'.
  •   Cat's Resistance To Flea Bath Hospitalizes Owner   (UPI)
  • A woman was hospitalized for six days following a disastrous attempt to give her Persian cat a flea bath.
  •   Airplane-Sized "Fatberg" Blocked Sewer   (UPI)
  • Sewer officials said a flooding problem was traced to a "fatberg" the size of Boeing 747 plane beneath a residential neighborhood.
  •   Space Geckos Found Dead Upon Return To Earth   (UPI)
  • Five geckos launched into space so scientists could observe the effect of weightlessness on sex have paid the ultimate price for their place in scientific history.
  •   Lawn Painters Bring The Green In Drought   (The Sacramento Bee)
  • Using nontoxic, emerald-hued paints, lawn painters can transform even completely dead lawns to look about as lush as a golf green.
  •   Brewery Unveils 99-Pack Of Beer   (Reuters)
  • The 7-foot-long pack consists of three rows of 33 cans that tip the scales at 82 pounds and will have a retail price of about $99.
  •   Slice Of Princess Diana's Wedding Cake Auctioned   (Associated Press)
  • A 33-year-old slice of cake from Prince Charles and Princess Diana's 1981 wedding has sold at auction.
  •   Suspect Swallows Stolen Ring   (Associated Press)
  • Two people were arrested on suspicion of felony theft after one of them swallowed a stolen ring in an attempt to hide it.
  •   Woman Used Bacon To Ignite Arson Attack Against Ex   (UPI)
  • A woman was ordered to stand trial on arson charges after she used bacon to ignite a house fire in her ex-boyfriend's home.
  •   Human Skull Discovered In Donation Bin   (UPI)
  • Police are turning to the public for help finding an unknown person who donated a human skull to a local Goodwill.
  •   2,100-Foot Turban Weighing 100 Pounds May Be World's Largest   (UPI)
  • A 60-year-old warrior Sikh may be wearing the world record holder for the largest turban if his claims about its measurements prove accurate.
  •   Man Caught Killing And Eating Threatened Tortoises   (Reuters)
  • Wildlife authorities caught a man who killed and ate 15 gopher tortoises and planned to slaughter 11 more of the threatened reptiles.
  •   Workers Comp Ok For Kickball Injury   (Associated Press)
  • The court ruled that Stephen Whigham, who was injured in a company kickball game, is entitled to workers' compensation benefits because he was required to attend the game as part of his job.
  •   Shaun The Sheep May Be World's Wooliest   (Reuters)
  • Two farmers say that they may have found the world’s woolliest sheep, whose estimated 25 kg (55 lb) coat, if confirmed, could shatter the world record .
  •   Zig-Zag Lane Lines Confuse Commuters   (UPI)
  • Commuters were faced with an unexpected challenge as recently placed lane lines began stripping and curving.
  •   Cops Called After Fliers Fight Over Seat Recline   (Associated Press)
  • Airline passengers have come to expect a tiny escape from the confined space of today's packed planes: the ability to recline their seat a few inches.
  •   Garden Gnome Alert: 400 Missing   (Associated Press)
  • A leading political party has issued a garden gnome alert after 400 of its figurines disappeared from lamp posts used in campaigning.
  •   Man Fakes Kidnapping To Have A Night Without His Girlfriend   (UPI)
  • A man was fined for wasting police time after telling his girlfriend he was kidnapped so he could stay at a party with his friends.
  •   Suspicious Object Turns Out to Be Star Wars Toy   (Associated Press)
  • Call Luke Skywalker for backup.
  •   $10,000 In Marijuana Seized From Man Named Stoner   (UPI)
  • A man whose last name is Stoner faces numerous drug charges after police seized over $10,000 in cannabis plants from his home.
  •   Wanted Man Crashes Car Into Police Hunting for Him   (UPI)
  • A man wanted by police accidentally turned himself in after crashing into an on-duty officer.
  •   Casino Loses Cash Left On Roof Of Armored Truck   (UPI)
  • Casino officials and local authorities are investigating the disappearance of nearly $21,000 in cash after the security company responsible for transporting the money left it on the roof of an armored truck.
  •   Man Fakes Suicide To Get Out Of Engagement   (UPI)
  • A woman who was expecting to be on her honeymoon is instead enjoying an impromptu vacation after her former fiance attempted to fake his own suicide to get out of marrying her.
  •   Fantasy Football Season Costs Employers Billions   (UPI)
  • Employers may lose billions during fantasy football season due to employees eschewing their responsibilities at work to focus on managing their fake teams.
  •   Woman With Cocaine In Breast Implants Arrested At Airport   (UPI)
  • Police arrested a woman who arrived at an airport with 1.7 kilos of cocaine hidden in her breast implants.
  •   Man Receives Pot Delivery While Being Questioned By Police   (WBZ Boston)
  • They say timing is everything.
  •   Man Makes Art By Squirting Paint From His Eyes   (Global Post)
  • Leandro Granato considers himself the creator of the "eye painting" technique, by which he drips and squirts paint from his tear ducts.
  •   Busy Mom Has Baby While Registering Son At School   (Associated Press)
  • A mother in the advanced stages of labor thought she had just enough time to stop off and register her 4-year-old son at school en route to the hospital.
  •   Wiman Cited For Climbing Into Zoo's Giraffe Pen   (Associated Press)
  • A woman was cited after climbing into the giraffe exhibit and getting kicked in the face.
  •   Hospital Accidentally Declares 200 Patients Dead   (Reuters)
  • The hospital apologized after mistakenly sending out death notices for 200 of its very-much-alive patients.
  •   Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road? Cops Don't Know.   (Reuters)
  • Officers were dispatched to a report of a chicken crossing a rush-hour highway after a caller said the bird was causing a traffic hazard.
  •   Woman Walks To Truck, Drives Herself To Hospital After Bear Attack   (UPI)
  • A woman was able to walk for more than a mile and drive herself to the hospital after she was mauled by a bear while hiking.
  •   Man Dragging Stolen Safe Behind His Car Arrested After Passing Officer   (UPI)
  • A man was arrested after he stole a safe from a pharmacy and then dragged it behind his car.
  •   Woman Accused Of Going After Sister With Spatula   (UPI)
  • A woman who slapped her sister in the head with a spatula from an outdoor grill is facing a felony malicious wounding charge.
  •   Grandmother Demands $1,000 For "Pain And Suffering" After Bad Haircut   (UPI)
  • A grandmother wants her hair salon to fork over $1,000 after a stylist gave her a haircut that is so bad it is affecting her social life.
  •   Woman Attacked At Barbecue For Wearing Short Shorts   (UPI)
  • A woman is being charged with felony second-degree assault after she attacked another female at a barbecue because she felt that her shorts were too short.
  •   Pilot's Artificial Arm Detached While Landing   (Associated Press)
  • An air accident report has recounted how a pilot lost control of a passenger plane after his artificial arm became detached during landing.
  •   Mr. T Proclaims "I Pity The Criminals" As He Waits For Jury Duty   (Associated Press)
  • Lawrence Tureaud, better known as Mr. T, was in true form as he waited outside a suburban courthouse to be called for jury duty.
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