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  Postman Hoarded 40,000 Pieces Of Mail   (UPI)
  • A mail carrier accused of hoarding more than 40,000 pieces of undelivered mail blamed depression and alcoholism for his behavior.
  •   Bear At Door Prevents Package Delivery   (UPI)
  • A postal worker who failed to deliver a package to his porch left behind a note explaining why -- "Bear at door."
  •   Women Find Python In Trunk Of Rental Car   (Associated Press)
  • Two women opened the trunk of their rental car to retrieve their luggage and were greeted by a snake.
  •   Slot Machine Saves Gambler As Police Arrive   (Associated Press)
  • A gambler has been saved from prison by a one-armed bandit.
  •   Eatery Spiked Noodles With Opium   (UPI)
  • The owner of a noodle restaurant admitted to adding opium to dishes to hook customers.
  •   Sawmill Owner Sees Jesus In Tree Trunk   (UPI)
  • What wood Jesus do?
  •   Less Cowbell: Study Says Bells Harmful To Cows   (UPI)
  • The iconic cow bells worn by the bovines could be damaging the animals' hearing and feeding habits.
  •   Groundhog Dies After Escaping Mayor's Grip   (Associated Press)
  • Her shadow was one of the last things she saw.
  •   Donkeys Reunited After Sex Scandal   (Associated Press)
  • The two amorous donkeys who were separated because of an outcry over their lovemaking have been reunited.
  •   Teen Calls Police To Break Up His Own Party   (Reuters)
  • A teenager who threw a party rife with underage drinking and drug use while his parents were away called police to intervene after a rowdy throng busted a neighbors fence and fights broke out.
  •   Woman Charged With Felony Over Chewed Seat   (Associated Press)
  • A woman has been charged with a felony after she chewed up the upholstery of a patrol car seat.
  •   Firefighters Rescue Pet Frog   (Associated Press)
  • Firefighters who doused the flames at a house have also made sure the lone resident didn't croak.
  •   Man Used Cocaine To Buy School Board Votes   (UPI)
  • A man facing conspiracy and voter fraud charges tried to buy school board votes with cash and bags of cocaine.
  •   Man Arrested After Driving Stolen Car To Meeting With Cops   (Reuters)
  • A man is in custody after showing up to a phony probation meeting driving a car that he stole from a woman in a supermarket parking lot and later may have used to rob a bank.
  •   Preschool Teacher Accused Of Biting Toddler   (Reuters)
  • A preschool teacher has been arrested and charged with assault and battery after she punished a 13-month-old boy by biting his shoulder.
  •   Prison For Ham Thief   (UPI)
  • A pork-pincher who grabbed an $823 cured ham from a car and fought with police was sentenced to 2 1/2 years in jail and more than $10,000 in fines.
  •   Bakery Delivers Marijuana-Infused Pizzas   (UPI)
  • Stoned Oven Gourmet Pizzas makes personal pizzas, about six inches in diameter, that contain 250 mg of THC.
  •   Chicken iPhone Case Part Of Giveaway   (UPI)
  • A drumstick iPhone 5s case, a fried chicken desk pillow and poultry-themed computer accessories are among the items.
  •   Man Breaks Into Police Station   (Associated Press)
  • A man who thought he was breaking into a school actually got into the local police station.
  •   Scotch-Stealing Escape Artist Prompts Flight Detour   (UPI)
  • A drunken Houdini aboard an airline flight stole whisky and escaped four sets of handcuffs.
  •   Lawyer Faces Discipline For Phony Celebrity Photos   (Reuters)
  • A state bar investigation found that she had superimposed images of herself into numerous celebrity photographs posted on her website's "publicity" page.
  •   Man Who Ate Napikins To Conceal Insider Trading Pleads Guilty   (Reuters)
  • A mortgage broker, who would scribble secret stock tips on napkins and pass them to an accomplice before eating them, pleaded guilty to insider trading.
  •   Fraudster Fails To Fool With Fake Funeral   (UPI)
  • The only person fooled by a wanted man's attempt to fake his own funeral was his prematurely-mourning grandmother.
  •   Woman Pays Taxes With 66 Pounds Of Coins   (UPI)
  • A woman who used 66 pounds of coins to pay her $268 tax bill said she was angry about having to sell her car to raise the sum.
  •   Booby Trap Covers Officer In Manure   (UPI)
  • A police officer monitoring motorists was covered in manure by an explosive booby trap likely meant to target traffic cops
  •   Missing Driver Says He Woke Up In A Field Of Donkeys   (Associated Press)
  • A driver who went missing after a one-car rollover in says he later woke up in a field of donkeys.
  •   Burned Armpit Hair Led To Car Crash   (Associated Press)
  • A car full of teenagers crashed after one of the passengers lit the driver's armpit hair on fire with a lighter.
  •   Coroner Advises Residents To Shoot Burglars   (Reuters)
  • A coroner who advised residents to arm themselves and shoot home intruders said that he had been angered over a recent spate of burglaries and was not seeking to drum up business.
  •   Man Used Banana To Rob Store   (Associated Press)
  • A man used a banana he swiped from a convenience store counter to simulate a gun while he robbed the place.
  •   Factory Gives Fighter Jet To Head Of Church   (Reuters)
  • The head of the Russian Orthodox Church was presented with an unlikely gift for a religious leader this week as he toured a factory -- a model single-seater fighter jet SU-35.
  •   Teen Admits Rubbing Scrotum on Customer's Pizza   (UPI)
  • A teen employee at a pizzeria rubbed his testicles on a pizza because he was upset the customer had ordered it close to closing time.
  •   Brothers' Bickering Tips Off Cops to Pot Plants   (UPI)
  • A complaint of two men having a loud argument in an apartment's courtyard led police to brothers bickering about the irrigation system for their marijuana plants.
  •   Beer Festival Features Brew Made with Weasel Poop   (UPI)
  • Among the 274 beers at the Snallygaster beer festival was a brew with a most unusual ingredient -- coffee beans salvaged from weasel poop.
  •   Brain Tumor Removed from Goldfish   (UPI)
  • Surgery to remove a brain tumor from a 10-year-old goldfish was a complete success.
  •   Mom Complains of Swearing Barbie Doll   (UPI)
  • A mother was shocked when her daughter's talking Barbie doll blurted out a profane expression.
  •   Fugitive Busted Playing Ultimate Frisbee   (UPI)
  • A man wanted for armed bank robbery was arrested when he surfaced to play in an ultimate frisbee tournament.
  •   Man Accused of Cooking Ex-Girlfriend's Dog   (Reuters)
  • A man is in police custody after stealing his ex-girlfriend's pet dog, cooking it and feeding it to her, police said.
  •   Gun-Toting Woman Threatens Boy Over Clarinet Practice   (Reuters)
  • Deputies arrested a 60-year-old woman who pointed a rifle at her neighbor's 11-year-old son as he played his clarinet in the backyard.
  •   Burger King To Debut Black Cheeseburger   (UPI)
  • The Kuro Pearl burger costs 480 yen, or roughly $4.80, and features bamboo charcoal cheese and bun, an onion and garlic sauce made with squid ink and a beef patty seasoned with black pepper.
  •   Man Sleepwalks Off Cliff, Suffers Minor Injuries   (Reuters)
  • A man fell 60 feet off a cliff while sleepwalking in a national forest, but suffered only minor injuries.
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