Claim:   Grammar school report details problems with a young George W. Bush.


Status:   Satire.

Example:   [Collected on the Internet, 2004]




United States Grammar School Interim Report to Parents

Dear Mr. and Mrs. G.H.W. Bush,

Once again, it is that time of year when we update the parents of our students on their child’s progress, and we regret to inform you that your son, Georgie, is not doing as well as we’d hoped and expected when he embarked on his four-year program at our school.

As you are well aware, Georgie was installed as class president at the start of the school year, despite the fact that the majority of his fellow students did not vote for him. We foresaw problems immediately, but were assured by several school board members (who, as we understand it, are friends of your family) that this would not result in any real difficulty. Unfortunately, they have been proven wrong.

In the area of scholastic achievement, despite our best efforts, Georgie is still reading and speaking at a grade level far below our usual standards. At this point, we are not sure if his failure to learn is due to laziness and a lack of ability to apply himself to his studies, or if he simply lacks the intellectual capacity to improve in these areas.

His oral presentations to the class are particularly troubling; it is apparent that Georgie has not read the necessary materials, and he often simply fabricates facts to hide this shortcoming. In oral exams, he tends to repeat the same answers over and over, e.g. “The economy is good; jobs are on their way,” indicating a profound failure to keep up with the Current Events portion of the curriculum.

[Rest of article here.]



Origins:   Another

George W. Bush

entry from the “no piece of satirical writing can be so obvious that someone won’t miss the humor” file, the article excerpted above makes light of various aspects of George W. Bush and his presidency (e.g., his winning the controversial 2000 presidential election, questions regarding his fulfillment of National Guard obligations, his insistence that Vice-President Dick Cheney appear with him before the 9/11 commission) by casting them as the actions of a young boy and reporting them to his parents in the form a school principal’s letter.

The letter itself is the work of Nancy Greggs and was published on 25 May 2004 on the Democratic Underground web site.

Last updated:   19 August 2007