Claim: The size of a man’s nose, hands, or feet is a reliable indicator of the size of his penis.
Origins: A long-lived mistaken belief relates penis size to a visible body part: hand, foot, or nose. Among those who consider there might be something to such a correlation, some say masculine length directly relates to a man’s shoe size, while others assert the measurement of the subject’s hand from wrist to fingertip will reveal his exact personal dimensions. Still more believe a man’s proboscis tells the tale when measured from the
middle of his eyebrows to the tip, making his masculine information as plain as the nose on his face. Others who have been romanced by the belief opt for more generalized comparisons, avowing that large hands, feet, or noses correspond to larger equipment below.
Until only recently, the only refutation of this hypothesis was anecdotal — for every supposed relative measurement, menfolk could always be found whose vitals defied the supposed wisdom. (“I used to believe your theory until I met my
Urologists at St. Mary’s Hospital and University College Hospital in London recorded the penile length of
The St. Mary’s study was not the first attempt to test the theory, but it was the first to adhere to a scientific standard. Although previous tests had appeared to show at least a mild correlation, the studies themselves were seriously flawed, as they relied upon the subjects to accurately report their personal information. The
That the study disproves the relationship doesn’t mean belief in it is likely to wane. We want to believe a link exists between the size of the penis and some other appendage
because our desire to see patterns where none exist leads us to assume the human body is built on a precise scale, that our creator fashioned everything in exact proportion. For all our posturing about our passion for new frontiers, new knowledge, and boldly going where no man has gone before, we humans very much want to live in an orderly universe where everything clearly relates to everything else and is easily understandable. Nature, however, has other ideas. Even individuals differ from side to side — on the same person, one hand will always be bigger, as will one foot. One testicle will always hang lower (almost always the left), and with women one breast will always be larger than its mate. Proportioning is chaotic within a single body; across two or more people it is less consistent. Yet still we persist in attempting to isolate reliable patterns because our need for comfort forces us to search for a gestalt even where we know none can exist.
Yet it’s not all desire for order: we also delight in the theory of penile endowment relating to hand, foot, or nose size because, if true, such relationship would give us insight into a very private aspect of folks we might want to know more about. It’s the mental equivalent of “I’ve seen you naked!” in all its smugly superior juvenility. A hated boss becomes less fearsome if one can imagine him with a small penis, just as an admired sports figure becomes less daunting when pictured the same way.
Although penis size has no bearing on sexual satisfaction, we live in a society which deals a consumeristic lesson of “bigger is better.” Some of this carries over to color males’ perception of themselves, convincing many
- The average Caucasian’s penis is
3.5 incheslong when flaccid and 5.1 incheslong when erect.
- Many men are unhappy with the size of their equipment, but research shows most of those who request penile-enhancement surgery are actually average-sized.
- The penis doesn’t grow significantly until the first stages of puberty, normally starting between the ages of 10 and 14.
- During puberty the penis becomes longer and thicker and should reach adult size during the
16th year,after which no further growth occurs — indeed, there is some evidence that it starts to shrink after middle age.
- Surgery is the only technique that can make a flaccid penis longer or thicker.
Barbara “willy wonka’d” Mikkelson
Last updated: 11 July 2007