Fact Check

Oprah on Men

Oprah Winfrey opines on men.

Published Nov 20, 2005


Claim:   Oprah Winfrey opines on men.

Status:   Undetermined.

Example:   [Collected on the Internet, 2005]


If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.
Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.
Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.
Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's not meant to be.
Slower is better.
Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.
If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can't "be friends". A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend.
Don't settle.
If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.
Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.
The only person you can control in a relationship is you.
Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you any differently?
Always have your own set of friends separate from his.
Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you.
If something bothers you, speak up.
Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.
You cannot change a man's behavior. Change comes from within.
Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are... even if he has more education or in a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less.
Never let a man define who you are.
Never borrow someone else's man. If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.
A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.
All men are NOT dogs.
You should not be the one doing all the bending... compromise is two way street.
You need time to heal between relationships... there is nothing cute about baggage... Deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship.
You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you... a relationship consists of two WHOLE
individuals... look for someone complimentary... not supplementary.
Dating is fun... even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right.
Make him miss you sometimes... when a man always know where you are, and you're always readily available to him - he takes it for granted.
Never move into his mother's house.
Never co-sign for a man.
Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need. Keep him in your radar but get to know others.

Share this with other women and men (just so they know)... You'll make someone smile, another rethink her/his choices, and another woman prepare, and a man aware.

Origins:   We first encountered this purported collection of Oprah Winfrey quotes in a newsgroup post made in early October 2005, and it has since been circulated via


Regrettably, we're unable to verify any of the items in the compilation as being her words. While many of the pronouncements echo Oprah's oft expounded upon theme of taking control of one's life, we can't fit any of these statements to America's favorite talk-show hostess. Some of the tidbits do sound like they could have issued from her (e.g., "Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy" and "The only person you can control in a relationship is you"), but some don't (e.g., "Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later"), with the majority falling somewhere in between.

In attempting to get to the bottom of this mystery, we read through three life histories of Ms. Winfrey. None contained any of the supposed quotes, but those biographies could have been published before she made these remarks, so our not finding them proves nothing.

We e-mailed The Oprah Winfrey Show to ask about the list. While we did immediately receive a standard auto-reply thanking us for writing (which at least confirms our note went to the right place), we have heard nothing since.

It was suggested the various pronouncements were voiced during an airing of The Oprah Winfrey Show in which Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo, the authors of 2004's best-selling self-help book He's Just Not That Into You, were Oprah's guests. Our study of that show's transcript failed to reveal any of the purported quotes issuing from any of the guests or Ms. Winfrey. Likewise, a read through He's Just Not That Into You did not locate any of the sayings.

If this frustrating state of affairs continues for much longer, we'll have to start watching the show.

Barbara "phantom of the oprah" Mikkelson

Last updated:   27 November 2005

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