A much-circulated piece of internet lore is a purported book report on U.S. President John F. Kennedy by a student named “Adam G.,” which precociously relates little more than some rumors about JFK’s sex life:
JFK served as our 35th president of the United States. He was born in Massachusets in 1917 the same year Hoodini was buried alive! He liked woman a lot so when Jackie was away he would host secret sex parties in the ovel office where famous women would get naked and dance for the president. One night on his birthday Marilyn Monroe came to sing happy birthday very seductivly. They had sex after making him the COOLEST PRESIDENT EVER! He really liked driving in convertable cars which wasn’t such a good idea in 1963 when he was shot by a man who must’ve hated Marilyn Monroe.
As is typically the case, this “book report” has produced much commentary about whether it was really the work of a schoolchild or merely the product of an adult’s attempt to create humor by passing off a narrative as if were a child’s observations.
Most opinion seems to fall on the side of the latter, with commenters pointing out seeming tell-tale signs such as:
1) The “teacher” who marked the paper corrected a single misspelling (of “Massachusetts”) but left multiple others (e.g., “Hoodini,” “seductivly,” “convertable”) unremarked upon.
2) The teacher herself misspelled the word “relevant” (as “revelant”).
3) The teacher seemingly took no action regarding this completely inappropriate book report other than to give the student a failing grade along with a trite comment (rather than, say, asking the student to speak with her and/or instructing him to do the report over).
“Just what book was this child reading?” many have asked, observing that such information appears nowhere in the “book report” itself.
For now, the specific origins and intent behind this item remain unknown to us.