Claim: A “radical feminist” baked “vagina cookies” for a second-grade classroom, then became incensed when the class teacher objected to them.
Example: [Collected via Reddit, September 2014]
DISCLAIMER: This is a friend’s story and she isn’t a redditor but I begged her to let me post it from the perspective that she told the story in. Also I apologize, I’m not a writer.
I am currently a second grade teacher at a public school. I have a wonderful class and I like to reward them when they have a good week by having volunteer parents bring in snacks (I.E. cookies, candy, granola etc.) provided the parent keeps them hypoallergenic. This week our volunteer parent, who we will refer to as Autumn Lily Speaker (not far from her actual name) told me on Wednesday that she will be preparing cookies for the class and is ‘excited for this opportunity’. Thinking nothing of it, I thanked her and marked it off my weekly to-do list.
So Friday rolls around and the kids are excited. Autumn Lily Speaker comes into the classroom with a pan full of treats and brings them to me and says with a smile “I decided you can use these to teach the kids about the woman’s vagina today”. Baffled and completely caught off guard I slowly peel the aluminum foil off the pan to behold a plethora of sugar cookie and frosting vaginas. Not just any old vagina, but ALL KINDS OF VAGINAS … perplexed I give the parent the most professional look I can muster and quietly reply “I’m sorry Autumn, but I can’t give these to my students. This just isn’t appropriate.”
cue angry radical feminist
Autumn bursts with the fury of a thousand angry Andrea Dworkin’s and starts yelling in front of the class about how ‘I should be proud of my vagina’ and ‘I am settling for a women’s role in life’. Utterly bemused and frozen from shock all I can do is stand and stare at the woman as the word ‘vagina’ is yelled in front of my second grade class about 987,000 times. Finally after what seemed like an eternity, she storms out of the class leaving her vagina cookies on my desk. I scramble to collect my thoughts and take control of the situation before my second graders develop vaginal PTSD. My only thought is to scrape off the vagina frosting and hand out the plain sugar cookies to my students.
Origins: On 22 September 2014, a post regarding “vagina cookies” appeared on Reddit’s “TIFU” subreddit. (TIFU is an abbreviation for “today I f***ed up.) The poster, JPstudly, claimed to be the friend of the teacher in the story, presenting the chain of events in a first-person narrative.
What followed was somewhat of a stereotypical “straw feminist” tale, a narrative about a recalcitrant feminist insistent upon forcing an age-inappropriate agenda onto unwitting six- and seven-year-old children. When presented with a conflicting opinion, the vagina cookie baker reacts in a wildly inappropriate fashion, complete with angry text messages sent to the teacher wishing a physically abusive spouse upon her:
Following a number of queries about the vagina cookie incident, the original poster on Reddit returned to answer some frequently asked questions:
The kid was removed from class by the parent and moved to a private school
The parent is no longer allowed on district property
School administration refused to answer whether or not they were taking action
No pictures were taken of the cookies
No action was taken against my friend, administration deemed she handled it professionally
The cookies were actually pretty good
The original post on Reddit’s TIFU did not specify a district or even a state in which the cookie controversy might have occurred, which isn’t out of the realm of expectation when elementary school classroom issues are at hand. However, given the “friend of a friend” telling and the outrageous behavior described on the part of the parent involved, it’s entirely possible that the tale is either exaggerated or wholly fabricated.
Last updated: 23 September 2014