Tails of Manhattan

Story by Woody Allen features lobsters gaining revenge on Bernie Madoff.

Claim:   Story by Woody Allen features lobsters gaining revenge on Bernie Madoff.


Example:   [Collected via e-mail, March 2009]

Is this really Woody Allen? Note date has not yet happened … but the Sheepshead Bay reference makes me think it may actually be him..

Subject: Woody Allen on Madoff

Tails of Manhattan
by Woody Allen March 30, 2009

Two weeks ago, Abe Moscowitz dropped dead of a heart attack and was reincarnated as a lobster. Trapped off the coast of Maine, he was shipped to Manhattan and dumped into a tank at a posh Upper East Side seafood restaurant. In the tank there were several other lobsters, one of whom recognized him. “Abe, is that you?” the creature asked, his antennae perking up.

“Who’s that? Who’s talking to me?” Moscowitz said, still dazed by the mystical slam-bang postmortem that had transmogrified him into a crustacean.

“It’s me, Moe Silverman,” the other lobster said.

“O.M.G.!” Moscowitz piped, recognizing the voice of an old gin-rummy colleague. “What’s going on?”

“We’re reborn,” Moe explained. “As a couple of two-pounders.”

[Rest of article here.]


Origins:   Academy Award-winning actor/director Woody Allen is best known for his work in films and

(in earlier years) as a stand-up comedian, so it’s understandable that many readers encountering a text piece on a topical issue might be skeptical about seeing it attributed to him. However, Allen — like fellow humorist Steve Martin — also ventures into the world of print media from time to time, and both men have occasionally contributed pieces to the New Yorker magazine over the years.

The article referenced above, a bit of fantasy fiction in which two of Ponzi scheme scammer Bernie Madoff’s victims die, are reborn as lobsters, and exact their revenge on the swindler at a posh Upper East Side seafood restaurant, is a piece by Allen which was published under the title “Tails of Manhattan” in the “Shouts & Murmurs” section of the New Yorker‘s 30 March 2009 issue.

Last updated:   27 March 2009


    Allen, Woody.   “Tails of Manhattan.”

    The New Yorker.   30 March 2009.