Reportedly excerpted from Outside Magazine, May 1995, pp. 120-121.
Grand Canyon National Park:
- Was this man-made?
- Do you light it up at night?
- I bought tickets for the elevator to the bottom — where is it?
- Is the mule train air conditioned?
- So where are the faces of the presidents?
Everglades National Park:
- Are the alligators real?
- Are the baby alligators for sale?
- Where are all the rides?
- What time does the two o’clock bus leave?
Denali National Park (Alaska):
- What time do you feed the bears?
- Can you show me where the yeti lives?
- How often do you mow the tundra?
- How much does Mount McKinley weigh?
Mesa Verde National Park:
- Did people build this, or did Indians?
- Why did they build the ruins so close to the road?
- Do you know of any undiscovered ruins?
- Why did the Indians decide to live in Colorado?
Carlsbad Caverns National Park:
- How much of the cave is underground?
- So what’s in the unexplored part of the cave?
- Does it ever rain in here?
- How many ping-pong balls would it take to fill this up?
- So what is this — just a hole in the ground?
Yosemite National Park:
- Where are the cages for the animals?
- What time do you turn on Yosemite Falls?
Yellowstone National Park:
- Does Old Faithful erupt at night?
- How do you turn it on?
- When does the guy who turns it on get to sleep?
- We had no trouble finding the park entrances, but where are the exits?