NASA admitted that they were in contact with aliens but failed to officially disclose that information, presuming everyone already knew about it.
Collected via e-mail, September 2016
On 19 September 2016, the conspiracy web site Disclose.tv published an article reporting that NASA, the federal agency that oversees the U.S. civilian space program, had casually admitted they were in contact with aliens but had never formally announced that information because they believed everyone was already aware of it:
According to reports, Trish Chamberson, an official spokesperson from NASA has confirmed the existence of extra-terrestrial life and has claimed that aliens have been visiting planet Earth for thousands of years.
NASA SPOKESWOMAN CONFIRMS THE EXISTENCE OF ALIENS
During the two-hour briefing, Chamberson confirmed that a number of theories which had previously been dismissed as groundless speculation from fringe enthusiasts are actually grounded in reality. Chamberson made various sensational allegations in the course of the interview, claiming that the alien species known as the Greys have been visiting Earth for thousands of years and that they may have had a hand in the construction of megastructures such as the ancient pyramids of Giza and various other buildings dotted around the world.
There are so many films, documentaries and TV programs on aliens, that we thought everyone was aware of them by now[.]
Chamberson went on to confirm various theories about alien mining operations in the solar system. She claimed one of the mines was on the far side of the Moon and that various planets in the solar system were being assessed for minerals. Recently, she claimed aliens have begun to mine Jupiter, which is why observers have been able to see several apparently new rings appearing around the gas giant.
Sorry. We just kinda assumed everyone knew about it[.]
“We do apologise for this mix up, the whole thing just slipped our mind,” another scientist explained, “we were so busy back-engineering their technology, we simply forgot all about it. They even have a base on the far side of the moon, and are currently mining several planets in our solar system for minerals. They’ve only started on Jupiter recently, hence the new rings around it. It’s all good though, they’re a nice enough bunch. They don’t talk much though, but always complaining about our Nuclear weapons, claiming they affect parallel universes every time they’re triggered”.
The disclosure comes after 70 years of countless sightings and abductions, raising questions as to why it is they are here.
“The aliens are actually harmless and only interested in the planet’s natural resources,” the briefing concluded, “which shouldn’t cause us any problems whatsoever”.
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Waterford Whispers is largely recognized as an Irish counterpart to The Onion among its primary reader base (in the UK and Ireland). However, previous items from the site have been confused for real news, including reports that the Pope commissioned J.K. Rowling to rewrite the Bible, the Muppet known as “Animal” had died, and that the Vatican decreed Jesus was not returning. Disclose.tv has passed on a decent share of fake news items, including claims a baby in the Philippines was born with Stigmata and Edward Snowden had been “reported dead by his girlfriend.”