On April 8, 2021, The Stonk Market published an article positing that COVID-19 vaccine producer Pfizer announced that it planned to integrate Microsoft’s Pluton processor chip into its vaccine to “reduce symptoms associated with the vaccine.” It read:
Pfizer Announces COVID-19 Vaccine Upgrade, Now Includes Microsoft Chip For Reduced Symptoms
Pfizer just released a new statement for investors citing they’ve inked a deal with Microsoft to integrate their Pluton processor chip to reduce symptoms associated with the vaccine. In the release it is stated that receivers of the new vaccine expect reduced fatigue, reduced soreness, heightened awareness etc.
It is rumored Apple plans to ink a similar deal with Moderna, but nothing is confirmed yet. Microsoft ($MSFT) shares are down 2% and Pfizer ($PFE) shares are up 1.3% in After Hours trading.
This item was not a factual recounting of real-life events. The article originated with a website that describes its output as being humorous or satirical in nature, as follows:
TheStonkMarket.com is a financial satire site. The site provides unique coverage on the financial industry, stocks, hedge funds and global markets. Mission: To provide daily humor and make stonks go up.
At the time of this writing, there were three COVID-19 vaccines available on the U.S. market issued under emergency use authorizations by the Food and Drug Administration — none of them contained Microsoft chips.
For background, here is why we sometimes write about satire/humor.