Cucumber Pants

Legend:   A

man passes out on the dance floor of a discotheque and is rushed to the emergency room of a local hospital. The physician who examines the unconscious patient discovers that the man has a cucumber wedged into the crotch of his ultra-tight pants, placed there to make him appear to be extremely well-hung. The cucumber had pressed against blood vessels in the man's leg, cutting off the circulation and causing him to faint.

Example:   [Collected on the Internet, 1994]

Variations:

• The object found in the man's pants varies, although it is almost always some type of edible substance (vegetable or meat product): cucumber, salami, sausage, zucchini. Rare versions mention a roll of coins being used.
• The incident leading to the discovery of the hidden object also varies: the man faints, suffers a leg injury, is involved in an automobile accident, or is searched during a drug bust.
• The object is found to be either taped to the man's leg or shoved into skin-tight pants.

Origins:   The spread of this legend appears to have coincided with the increase in popularity of disco music and disco dancing (c. 1979), most likely as a put-down of the disco phenomenon by non-aficionados. It was around before that, however, as one anecdotal report dates it to 1973.

Sightings:   Look for a tinfoil-wrapped version of this (caught going through an airport metal detector) in the 1984 movie This is Spinal Tap.

Last updated:   11 July 2007

  Sources:

    Brunvand, Jan Harold.  
The Vanishing Hitchhiker.

    New York: W. W. Norton, 1981.   ISBN 0-393-95169-3   (p. 81).