Claim: Chomping a few Altoids just before providing oral sex elevates the recipient’s experience to the “out of this world” category.
Status: Multiple — see below.
Example: [Collected via e-mail, 1997]
This is absolutely a true story — forward it around to friends who might get a kick out of it. Had the most interesting conversation with the top sales weasel at our company today. She came into my office and noticed I had a box of Altoids on my desk. (Have you had them? They are these obnoxiously strong peppermints made in England.) As soon as she saw them, she burst into laughter. Turns out she had recently had an affair with a guy who called her and left her an incredibly steamy voice mail message after an encounter. He went on and on about what a blow job goddess she was, how amazing she was, how he’d never be the same, etc. She was kind of puzzled, thinking: what did I do to this guy that was so different from my regular technique? She finally figured it out: she’s a smoker, and before getting intimate with him, she had gone to the bathroom to "freshen up." Not having a toothbrush, she crunched on about four Altoids and then got busy. Apparently things went amazingly.
So she passed this little tidbit on to another female sales weasel, who immediately tried it out on her fiancee. Apparently this guy has never, ever been into oral sex, but liked the mint sensation so much that he asked her to stop and chew another Altoid
(For what it’s worth — it really does work! It leaves a lasting tingle that is apparently quite exquisite.)
afraid it’s going to take more than a box of Altoids to radically change anyone’s sex life. Aspiring blowjob goddesses, take note.
First appearing on the Internet in early December 1997, this bit of imaginative prose captures imaginations as it promises an easy path to sexual ecstasy, something everyone is apparently looking for. The letter works on yet another level by supposedly letting those who receive it in on a big secret, thereby exploiting the normal human desire to be privy to "special information." Very powerful lures, both of these.
We want to believe — or at least kid about — our places of business being seething hotbeds of sexual adventure. The notion of a “Secret Blowjob Goddess Society” plays into that desire. But we’re still uncomfortable with the notion of people we know having sex, so laughing about it over a box of mints discovered on someone’s desk becomes a way of coming to terms with our feelings of unease, in much the same way as whistling in the graveyard makes us feel a bit more
Typical of such netlore, there’s a dearth of checkable facts to work with. No names, dates, or names of companies are given, making it impossible to trace the story back to its source. Even so, it will long be passed around as a true story, a bit of super secret information only we really cool people know about. The trailing “For what it’s
Accept the story for what it likely is, a lovely bit of fiction. Also buy stock in Altoids for you know there will be those who are going to feel the urge to test out this enhancement for themselves.
Despite the lack of scientific evidence to support the claim that mint in the mouth of the fellator would be felt on the penis of the receiver, some people have sworn they feel a little something when they try this with their partners. But don’t get your hopes up: even among those who claim Altoids produces a sensation when used in this fashion, nothing earthshaking is being reported. Slight tingling or a momentary sensation of cold; that’s it.
Judging from my
If you’re set on believing this will do something for you, it probably will. But not to the point of being declared Blowjob Goddess of the Western
Okay, so why does this bit of
In 1986 the popular television show LA Law ran smack into this refusal to believe such a shortcut did not exist. In a key episode, troll-like Stuart Markowitz won the beautiful Ann Kelsey’s heart (and other assorted body parts) with the Venus Butterfly, a sexual secret a con whispered to him by way of repaying a favor. Here’s where the line between television and reality
Barbara “speared mint” Mikkelson
Last updated: 25 February 2006