Okay, so I've got an exclusive interview with one of Warner's biggest singing sensations and I'm half-an-hour late. Arghh!
The taxi pulls up to the curb and I see Mariah heading for her stretch limo (painted white and matching her outfit and kitty). I scream out her name and two of the biggest goons I've ever seen reached into their coats like Elliot Ness on a bad day.
"Mariah, it's me. Cristy from Cupcake. Sorry I'm so late but I just got my period and had to take care of business."
With that statement the goons dropped the attitude (boys always do when you mention the "P" word). Before I could say "motrin" we were sitting in a seriously fresh ride sipping lemonade and bumpin' some tunes. It was all good 'cause the goons sat in front and drove while me and Mariah chilled in the back. It was pretty hot but Mariah said she couldn't open the windows 'cause people start trippin' on her, so we popped the sunroof and started the interview.
Cindy: What's really goin' on with Mariah Carey? You've got it all, girl. Money, cars, a good man, and an incredible career. Is there anything you haven't achieved?
Mariah: God, there so much I still want to do. Sometimes I feel like all this money is just holding me back from what's really important, the children. When I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean, I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff.
Cindy: So is Mariah saying that having children is definitely in her future?
Mariah: NO! I just wish that kids all over could have a better life. You know?
Cindy: What's goin' on at home, Mariah? What's it like living in a castle of a house in Bedford, NY?
Mariah: Sometimes I feel like it's a prison.
Cindy: What do you mean?
Mariah: I don't know (Mariah pauses and begins looking out of her limo window.). I don't want to talk about it. Let's talk about my new single.
Cindy: The one with Boys to Men or the one with ODB?
Mariah: Let me tell you something, girl. Recording that song with ODB was painful. I swear, when he grabbed the mic and started rhymin' and spittin'........... ooooooooooohhhhh, girl! I wanted to talk to him so bad, but I'm a married woman, you know?
Cindy: Girl, you scandalous. You can't be lustin' after ODB when you're married to the president of both your record labels.
Mariah: I'm not even trippin' like that, though. I love my husband. He's too good to me.
...to be continued