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U.S. Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld referred to France and Germany as the 'Axis of Weasels.'
Canadian comedian Rick Mercer offered a satirical "truly Canadian apology to the USA" on television.
A Corona, California, man sued Secretary of Homeland Security Tom Ridge for emotional distress after duct-taping his "privates."
A 1944 Reuters article describes a U.S. administration split over the decision whether to invade Europe.
American servicemen buried in France caused an earthquake by "rolling over in their graves."
Steven Spielberg is planning to direct a film about the Crusades.
Monty Python trouper John Cleese penned a satirical article about the formation of an "Axis of Just as Evil."
A 1945 Reuters article describes criticism of President Truman over a deteriorating security situation in occupied Germany.
A California man is suing CBS, Janet Jackson, and Justin Timberlake over the breast-baring incident during halftime at Super Bowl XXXVIII.
Donald Rumsfeld delivered a stinging rebuke to Senator Ted Kennedy during a Senate committee meeting.
A 1944 article describes Republican calls for U.S. forces to be withdrawn from Europe.
Study finds that persons of lower intelligence are more likely to support President George W. Bush.
An Indiana Congressman is introducing legislation to change the name of Interstate 69.
Monty Python member John Cleese penned a satirical piece announcing the revocation of America's independence.
The U.S. military is paying high school kids to sign up for future combat duty under a 'pre-enlistment' program.
A man committed suicide after inadvertently learning a plot point from a not-yet-released Harry Potter book.
The MPAA is lobbying Congress to enact a law making unauthorized home theaters illegal.
A 1986 diary entry by President Ronald Reagan described George W. Bush as a "shiftless ne'er-do-well."
Welfare queen decries New Orleans Section 8 housing.
The NBA's Doug Christie nearly choked to death when his wife refused to allow a female doctor to assist him.
The Obama administration is planning to have military members pledge a loyalty oath directly to the President rather than to the Constitution.
The U.S. Congress is considering passage of the "Americans with No Abilities" Act.
Firearm ownership will be severely limited for the elderly.
The Pittsburgh Steelers will be forced to surrender half their Super Bowl titles to less fortunate teams.
Patients on life support died when a San Francisco hospital shut off all its power in observance of Earth Hour.
President Obama issued an executive order apologizing to Great Britain for the Declaration of Independence.
The job of President of the United States is being outsourced to India.
The Obama administration is selling blueprints for the B-2 Stealth Bomber to China in exchange for debt relief.
The Rev. Al Sharpton chides Tiger Woods for lack of racial diversity in the mistresses he chose.
A bill signed by President Obama mistakenly ceded all of South Dakota to the Sioux.
A global warming activist froze to death in Antarctica.
The Obama administration is planning to launch an "America Scouts" youth program.
Thailand donates 50,000 bottles of whitening skin cream to Haiti.
Senator Chris Dodd opined that a 5% downpayment requirement "would restrict home ownership to only those who can afford it."
Collection reproduces jokes about Democratic politicians by Don Rickles.
TSA screener in Denver caught masturbating to images of airline travelers displayed on body scanner.
An air traveler was arrested for ejaculating during a TSA patdown.
A female mortuary worker was arrested after becoming pregnant by one of the corpses she was preparing for burial.
President Obama visited his Chicago home and found it had been foreclosed upon and a new family had moved in.
Video clip shows a woman discussing why California is the best state for obtaining public assistance benefits.
Three animal rights activists went missing after protesting the use of leather at a motorcycle gang rally.
Article reproduces Florida Congressman Allen West's comments about Black History Month.
Pink Cross Publishing is about to publish a gay revision of the Bible.
Actor Clint Eastwood narrated an anti-Obama "Halftime in America" spot.
A commencement speech by the Commanding Officer of Fort Benning touched off riots that killed 11 people.
Samsung paid off a $1.05 billion judgment awarded to Apple in a patent infringement lawsuit entirely in nickels.
Bill Nye "blasted" Rep. Todd Akin for accusing him of "personally provoking Hurricane Isaac."
President Obama's 19-year-old son appeared at the Democratic National Convention.
Joe Biden has endorsed Mitt Romney for President.
George W. Bush accidentally voted for Barack Obama in the 2012 presidential election.
Uncounted military absentee ballots delivered after the voting deadline would have won the 2012 presidential election for Mitt Romney.
Bill O’Reilly was arrested for assaulting a department store Santa.
The Fox News Channel will be shutting down for routine maintenance on 21 January 2013.
Ann Coulter refused to stay aboard an airplane piloted by a black woman.
The U.S. Army has promoted accused Fort Hood shooter Nidal Hasan and awarded him the Legion of Merit.
Rep. Paul Ryan refused to tip an elderly waiter at a Washington-area restaurant.
A North Carolina couple put their 16-year-old daughter up for adoption after leaning she is gay.
New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg was denied a second slice of pizza at an Italian eatery in Brooklyn.
NRA president Jim Porter said that "it’s only a matter of time before we can own colored people again."
Chris Brown pays Ariel Castro's bail.
Congresswoman Michele Bachmann announced she would leave Minnesota if the state legalized gay marriage.
The Nobel Committee has asked President Obama to return his Nobel Peace Prize.
Monsanto cucumbers were banned in Nova Scotia after a study found they caused genital baldness.
President Obama issued an executive order granting himself a $100,000 pay raise.
Pat Robertson said that disobedient wives should be spanked by their husbands.
A food writer lapsed into a butter-induced coma after consuming 413 Red Lobster biscuits.
Paula Deen has been hired to host a cooking show for Fox News.
Paula Deen blamed "Jew executives" for her firing from the Food Network.
President Obama told a group of college students not to celebrate the 4th of July.
An open microphone caught President Obama making caustic comments about the 4th of July holiday.
An ambush near Boston recently killed 72 National Guard troops.
George Zimmerman is suing Trayvon Martin's parents for their failure to control their son.
George Zimmerman has won a Florida state lottery jackpot.
NASA announced that the Curiosity Rover found a message from God on Mars.
Arizona is implementing a mandatory school program to help homosexual children become straight.
Video clip shows a U.S. Representative putting the "Homeland Terrorist Preparedness Bill" up for vote in Congress.
A spoof of terrorist threat levels was written by English comic John Cleese.
A Canadian youth soccer league has eliminated the use of a ball from all games and practices.
Actor Mel Gibson's daughter has married a Jewish man.
President Obama has pardoned and released all the prisoners being held at the Guantanamo Bay detention camp.
The town of DeQuincy, Louisiana, has made twerking illegal.
President Obama has suffered a "mental breakdown."
The FCC has classified Fox News as "satire" rather than a news source.
President Obama has declared November 2013 to be National Muslim Appreciation Month.
A new form of STD has been discovered among residents of the city of Portland, Oregon.
The Apple iPhone 5s will share user fingerprint data with the FBI and the NSA.
Senator Ted Cruz went into a shouting tirade after a Hooters restaurant refused to accept his government expense account credit card.
President Obama is using his personal funds to keep the International Museum of Muslim Culture open during the government shutdown.
Giant mutant killer hornets created by exposure to radiation from the Fukushima nuclear plant have killed several people in Nebraska.
The Obama administration has proposed a 2,300-page "New Constitution."
Wyoming schools are implanting microchips in students.
The federal insurance exchange web site accidentally entered thousands of people into a sex offender registry.
Sarah Palin claimed in an interview that Jesus Christ celebrated Easter during his time on Earth.
Michele Bachmann is calling for a ban on Halloween because "the holiday is based in Satanism."
Dearborn, Michigan, has become the first U.S. city to implement Sharia law.
The U.S. government is opening gas stations to distribute free gasoline in poor neighborhoods.
Chick-fil-A president Dan Cathy announced that the chain would oppose blacks as a marketing ploy.
A school in Maryland required children to cross-dress for a "LGBTQ Appreciation Day" event.
Texas has passed a law allowing incarcerated sex offenders to be used as subjects for medical experimentation.
The Applebee's restaurant chain was driven to bankruptcy after offering free alcohol on Veterans Day.
The United States is returning the Statue of Liberty to France.
The Bitstrips app is a trojan horse that gives the NSA secret access to personal user information.
Sarah Palin said that "Thanksgiving is for real Americans and not Indians."
A 93-year-old woman shot and killed one of a group of thugs who were attempting to make her a "knockout game" victim.
42 million people were killed over Thanksgiving weekend in violent incidents stemming from shoppers competing for "Black Friday" bargains.
A woman killed three shoppers at a Chicago WalMart in order to snare that store's last Xbox for herself.
Kanye West proclaimed: "I am the next Nelson Mandela."
Pope Francis declared at the Third Vatican Council that "all religions are true."
Michael Jordan was robbed of his shoes at gunpoint during an in-store sneaker signing appearance.
In March 2005, investigators discovered the corpse of Michael Jackson buried at his Neverland Ranch, more than four years before he was reported dead.
Dozens of people died of marijuana overdoses on the first day of legalization in Colorado.
President Obama issued an executive order to replace the U.S. flag with one of a more "progressive and diverse" design.
A store in Colorado accepts food stamps towards the purchase of food items containing marijuana.
A gigantic squid has washed ashore along the California coastline.
Phillip Morris has announced the introduction of Marlboro M brand marijuana cigarettes.
The "Affordable Golf Club Act" requires all U.S. residents to purchase a new set of golf clubs before April 2014.
Blake Griffin smacked around Justin Bieber at a Hollywood Starbucks outlet.
A 200-million-year old dinosaur egg recently hatched in a Berlin museum.
George Zimmerman accidentally shot and killed himself while loading a gun.
NASCAR champion Jeff Gordon announced that he is in a relationship with another male racecar driver.
George Zimmerman sold his painting of Trayvon Martin for $30,000 at an online auction.
The NCAA is investigating the use of "skill enhancing drugs" by the 2014 champion UConn Huskies men's basketball team.
Kansas legislators are considering a bill that would force the science show COSMOS off the air in that state.
The Hobby Lobby chain fired an employee for divorcing her husband without company approval.
Singer Patti Labelle was arrested after attacking Aretha Franklin at an Atlanta concert.
Actor Leonardo DiCaprio will portray Martin Luther King in an upcoming film.
New York Jets quarterback Michael Vick was attacked by a stray pitbull.
Congress has introduced a bill requiring military veterans to inform their neighbors about their combat service.
The American Psychiatric Association has classified the taking of 'selfies' as a mental disorder.
A Chinese coal miner was recently found alive in an abandoned mine 17 years after he had been trapped inside it by an earthquake.
Barack Obama has announced that he is running for a third term as President.
Sarah Palin said Malaysia Flight 370 may have disappeared "because it mistakenly flew too high and ended up in heaven."
Scientists have discovered that solar panels drain the sun's energy.
A franchise owner has been granted permission to open a whites-only Arby's restaurant in Florida.
The Kenyan government has released "11 exclusive documents" suggesting that Barack Obama was born in that country.
Charles Manson has been granted parole and will soon be released from prison.
President Obama has signed a bill forgiving all student loans taken out within the last ten years.
The FBI is investigating the possible rigging of the 2014 Super Bowl.
A study recently revealed that one out of every three Americans has been implanted with an RFID microchip.
President Obama has ordered the removal of the words 'In God We Trust' from all U.S. currency.
The state of Ohio has replaced lethal injection with a head-ripping machine as a form of execution.
A Hobby Lobby store manager executed a gay employee by stoning.
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