Old Wives' Tales
Radio & TV
Toxin du jour
Claim: Photograph shows Queen Elizabeth sitting next to a colonel whose kilt was a little too revealing.
Example: [Collected on the Internet, 2004]
. . . Colonel Simon West didn't appear to be taking the occasion too seriously yesterday.However, the photograph that accompanied the Daily Mail article wasn't quite as revealing as the one shown above:
In his cap, jacket and spats, his hands on his knees and his ankles crossed, he sat proudly in the front row of the 1st Battalion of the Argyll and Sutherland Highlanders, next to the Queen.
But unlike his comrades, he hadn't taken the time to adjust his sporran and kilt for decency. So the kilt flapped about for all the world to see. And judging by the grin on his face, the colonel knew exactly what he was doing.
Onlookers said the Queen didn't notice what was happening next to her. But she does not exactly appear comfortable in the photograph.
Either the Daily Mail's version of the picture was edited for decency's sake, or someone took the original photograph and digitally added some extra naughty bits.
The Mirror's report on this photo (headlined "My Privates Can't Control Themselves") was somewhat more tongue-in-cheek, maintaining that Colonel West did indeed pose sans underpants (but didn't deliberately expose himself):
Simon West, 39, was "embarrassed beyond comprehension" and denied that the cheeky grin on his face proved he knew exactly what he was doing.The Mirror was, however, unable to clear up the age-old mystery of just what one might expect to find under a kilt:
One of his soldiers said: "We all think it's hilarious. The newspapers are selling like hot cakes."
One thing was brought out into the open yesterday — the colonel definitely had not got anything on under his kilt.
Army spokesman Lieutenant Colonel Ed Brown confirmed that Lt Col West was not wearing underpants.
He added: "The accusation he did this on purpose is utterly ridiculous."
As for the jaunty grin, apparently that is how he always smiles.
A colleague at the base said: "When he saw the picture he went bright red. He was covered in confusion. It was an extremely formal occasion.
"I am sure he'll see the funny side one day but at the moment he's not laughing. He's the boss and he knows everyone will be having a jolly good laugh."
His father William West, a retired major in the Gordon Highlanders, said: "We are bound by the Official Secrets Act so we can't say what's under the kilt. But my son nearly let the cat out of the bag. Luckily there was a shadow there. It's all terribly embarrassing. My daughter-in-law phoned. She said he was rather out of sorts."Last updated: 24 November 2004
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