From:
Category: Urban legend
Date: 21 Jan 2000
Time: 09:24:52
Remote Name: 206.24.45.99
I know that many of you have heard Pat Robertson, Jerry Fallwell, and others speak of the “Homosexual Agenda,” but no one has ever seen a copy of it. I am happy to report that I have finally obtained a copy directly from the Head Homosexual (she/he/it who must be obeyed). It follows below:
THE HOMOSEXUAL AGENDA
6:00 am Gym
8:00 am Breakfast (oatmeal and egg whites)
9:00 am Hair appointment
10:00 am Shopping
12:00 pm Brunch
2:00 pm Errands:
1) Assume complete control of the US Federal, State and Local Governments, as well as all other national governments;
2) recruit all straight youngsters to our debauched lifestyle;
3) destroy all healthy heterosexual marriages;
4) replace all school counselors in grades K-12 with agents of Colombian and Jamaican drug cartels;
5) establish planetary chain of “homo breeding gulags” where over-medicated imprisoned straight women are turned into artificially impregnated baby factories to produce prepubescent love slaves for our devotedly pederastic gay leadership;
6) bulldoze all houses of worship;
7) secure total control of the INTERNET and all mass media for the exclusive use of child pornographers.
2:30 pm Beauty Rest to prevent facial wrinkles from stress of world conquest
4:00 pm Cocktails
6:00 pm Light Dinner (soup, salad, Chardonnay)
8:00 pm Theatre
11:00 pm Bed (du jour)