Example: [Collected on the Internet, 2002]
President Lyndon B. Johnson once had a reputation for calling on military agencies and demanding special services. The following conversation took place when he called to the Marine Basic School in Quantico, VA:
"Good morning, The Basic School, how may I help you?"
LBJ: "This is President Johnson. We're hosting a formal get-together at the White House tomorrow night, and I need two lieutenants, tall and good-looking, to serve as escorts for my daughters, and they need to be there at
"Yes, sir. Two lieutenants, tall and good-looking,
LBJ: "And no damn Mexicans!" (Remember, he was a southerner and a Texan and this was the 60's...)
"Right, sir. No damn Mexicans."
The next night, at six o'clock,
"We're here to escort your daughters, ma'am."
"But you're both black. There must be some mistake."
"No, ma'am," one of the lieutenants spoke up, "Captain Rodriguez never makes mistakes."
Origins: This story has been part of the humor canon for decades upon decades, so those encountering it for the first time should not trustingly accept that just because the account they've
Other versions cast a Jewish officer as the put-upon military man who is imperiously ordered to supply escorts for someone's daughters, so in those accounts it's "Commander Rosenthal," "Major Goldstein," or "Captain Cohen" who sends black officers in response to the "no Jews!" restriction. Likewise, where this has supposedly happened changes from telling to telling
During World War II, a local society leader asked that a few soldiers from a nearby army camp be sent to her home for Thanksgiving dinner, specifying that they do not send any Jews.
On schedule, two Negro soldiers arrived at the home. "There must be some mistake," said the embarrassed and disconcerted hostess.
"No, there could be no mistake, ma'am," said one of the Negroes. "Major Rabinowitz never makes mistakes."
The oldest print sighting of this tale hails from 1919. Notice that despite its appearance in a newspaper as a news item, it lacks checkable elements, such as the date of the party, the city in which it was held, and the name of the hostess:
She Barred Irish and Jews: Negroes Sent To Her Dinner
Camp Devens, Ayers, Mass. — A woman living in a nearby Massachusetts city notified camp officials that she would be glad to entertain fifty soldiers at her home at Sunday dinner. The only stipulation she made was that there should be no Celts or Hebrews. The fifty men were sent. They were all from the Sunny South — fifty colored troops from the
Well, let us be thankful for that. She could have had no more grateful, brave or loyal guests.
During the filming of The Prince of Tides, Barbra Streisand apparently didn't endear herself to the locals [of Beaufort, South Carolina].
She rented one of the historic homes and promptly erected a 10-foot-high black fence, to deter the
[ . . .]
Streisand then complained by phone to the local commanding officer and told him she didn't want it to happen again. He reportedly responded, "I'll see what I can do about it."
The next morning the jets roared over at
Barbara "what's up doctored" Mikkelson
Last updated: 2 August 2007