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Not Necessarily the News

"News" and "true" are not synonymous. Much of what's posted to the Internet as news is inaccurate, misleading, exaggerated, or outright fake.

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A Romanian couple named their son 'Yahoo' as a sign of gratitude for their having met over the Internet.

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A man freed himself from an avalanche by drinking beer and urinating on the snow to melt it.

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Women in Germany face the loss of unemployment benefits if they decline to accept work in brothels.

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A mouse set a house on fire after the homeowner threw the rodent into a pile of burning leaves.

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An Oregon girl's message-in-a-bottle was found by a boy in Hawaii.

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An alligator captured in the Chicago River in June 2008 was the first such creature ever found in that body of water.

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A vengeful Polish dentist pulled out all of her ex-boyfriend?s teeth after he dumped her.

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A Swedish man died after having sex with hornet's nest.

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A man in China has sued his wife for bearing him ugly children.

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The Gateway Arch in St. Louis is slated for demolition in early 2015.

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Doctors discovered that a pregnant woman's unborn daughter was also pregnant.

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A death row inmate was released from prison after two execution attempts failed.

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Oprah Winfrey posted bail for 'sexy felon' Jeremy Meeks.

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President Obama has proclaimed August 2014 to be 'International Muslim Awareness Month.'

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Police recently found 17 plastic-wrapped bodies in the Ohio River.


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U.S. schools are requiring children to be implanted with RFID chips in an effort to curb gun violence.

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An Oklahoma City McDonald's was caught with horse meat and human meat in their freezer.

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Police in New Jersey found a body that had lain undisturbed for five years under a motel bed.

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Former president George W. Bush was arrested in Dallas for cocaine possession.

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Yankee shortstop Derek Jeter has cancelled his retirement plans to sign with the Boston Red Sox.

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Actor Russell Johnson of Gilligan's Island fame has been identified as the Zodiac Killer.

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Coca-Cola is recalling millions of bottles of Coke with the name Michael on the label.

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A school of killer whales attacked and killed 16 crewmembers of a Japanese whaling boat.

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A NYPD police officer killed a baby following a breastfeeding dispute with the child's mother.

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Photograph shows a honeymooner taking an underwater selfie moments before he was killed by a shark.

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The artificial sweetener aspartame was originally developed as an ant poison.

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The Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (SNAP), also known as food stamps, will be discontinued in March 2015.

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Facebook will begin monitoring posts for indications of drug activity.

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The state of California is fining ?Ice Bucket Challenge? participants for wasting water.

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A group of teenagers re-enacting the plot of the film The Purge 2 in Chicago murdered over 112 people.

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George Zimmerman was arrested while visiting Ferguson, Missouri.

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The creator of Breaking Bad announced the series will return for a sixth season.

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Rapper Tupac Shakur, thought to have been killed in 1996, has come out of hiding.

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A teenager was sentenced to 25 years in prison for the prank known as "swatting."

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Congress has passed a bill to provide free cars to welfare recipients.

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Actress Betty White has died.

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Record-breaking snowfall is forecast to cover most of the United States this coming winter.

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President Obama will resign on 1 January 2015 over Benghazi.

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Coors Light beer has been found to be contaminated with cocaine.

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The remains of an ancient city were discovered in the Australian desert.

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A Florida teacher gave sixth grade students an explicit sex ed lesson involving a strap-on sex toy due to satisfy common core requirements.

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The brother of a top ISIS leader has repented and converted to Christianity.

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Prisoners swapped in exchange for the release of Sgt. Bowe Bergdahl are now 'ISIS leaders.'

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Crystal meth has been legalized in Colorado.

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Michelle Obama announced plans to file for divorce from President Obama because he's always golfing.

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Puff Daddy, also known as Sean Combs, has been arrested in connection with the murder of Tupac Shakur.

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Basketball star Earvin "Magic" Johnson has donated blood for leukemia patients.

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Piracy has killed Netflix, as the streaming service cannot keep up with peer-to-peer sharing networks.

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Kanye West scored 106 points in a charity basketball game against a team of children in wheelchairs.

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Texas is about to legalize marijuana for medicinal and recreational use.

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Obamacare death panels have excuted Dorothy Zbornak, 86, because she was no longer useful.

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iPhone 6 devices assembled in Sierra Leone have been linked to an Ebola virus outbreak.

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Viral hoaxstress Jasmine Tridevil was found dead in her home.

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A prehistoric giant shark related to Megalodon has been captured.

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Artist Lana Newstrom is making millions of dollars selling invisible art.

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The CDC has announced trials of an Ebola vaccine that works only on white people.

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MTV is filming a new reality show, 12 and Pregnant.

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President of Zimbabwe Robert Mugabe announced plans for a "white Holocaust."

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Tax refunds for 2014 will be delayed until October of 2015.

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Sarah Palin has urged President Obama to invade Ebola.

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A historian claims he has discovered an eyewitness account of Jesus performing a miracle.

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Image circulates of an Ebola victim who has risen from the dead.

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Dallas Cowboy Tony Romo is gay.

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A man killed 7 people with a chainsaw at a haunted house in California.

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An Ebola outbreak in Chicago has left three people dead and four more sickened.

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A 14-year-old girl is pregnant with the "son of God."

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An open drink at a nurses' station led to three deaths.

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A 34-year-old woman was buried alive in Chicago.

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The Coen brothers have announced plans to begin filming a Big Lebowski sequel in January 2015.

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U2 singer Bono contracted the Ebola virus while caring for a man in Liberia.

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The town of Purdon, Texas was quarantined after a family of five tested positive for the Ebola virus.

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The U.S. Department of State issued a travel advisory for the state of Texas following an Ebola outbreak.

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A CDC whistleblower revealed a plot using the Ebola virus to embed all Americans with RFID tracking chips.

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Street artist Banksy's identity was revealed after he was arrested in Watford, England.

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Starbucks drinks contain semen because it adds "more flavor."

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Seventeen kindergarten students tested positive for Ebola in Texas.

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Las Vegas casinos want to legalize dog fighting to make more money.

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A corpse went undiscovered for two weeks at a haunted house.

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A study proved men who eat grits are more likely to father gay children.

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Crime reporter Nancy Grace was arrested for murder.

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Kenyan authorities released papers confirming Barack Obama's birth in that country.

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Third graders in Olathe, Kansas, contracted Ebola from a substitute teacher.

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Gov. Chris Christie has canceled Halloween trick-or-treating activities in New Jersey over fears of Ebola.

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The federal government will enact a nationwide minimum hunting age of 21.

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The Texas Department of Corrections will grant the request of a cannibal to have a child as his last meal.

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A baby was born in India with two separate minds enclosed in one head.

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A U.S. company is hiring mercenaries at a salary of $500,000 per year to kill ISIS members.

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A toddler was ejected from a roller coaster after his mother sneaked him onto the ride.

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Jaden Smith is planning to have his penis removed on his 18th birthday.

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Spider eggs used to stuff Beanie Babies have started hatching.

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California approved a $587 billion high-speed rail link to Hawaii.

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Astronaut Buzz Aldrin admitted the Apollo 11 moon landing was staged on a movie set.

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Wendy's hamburgers contain horse meat.

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A restaurant in Los Angeles was granted legal permission to serve dog meat.

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Disney has announced the production of Princes, their first film with openly gay characters.

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A UN official lambasted the "entitlement" of the parents of slain Ferguson, Missouri teen Mike Brown after they addressed the United Nations Committee Against Torture.

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Congress eliminated the child tax credit, the earned income tax credit (EITC), and mortgage deductions from the tax code under pressure from lobby groups and the Koch brothers.

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NASA's Mars rover Curiosity found a fish fossil near the Windjana drilling target.

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Tim Tebow was arrested for soliciting a prostitute.

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The Green Bay Packers were busted for using 'performance enhancing gloves.'

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Raven Symone said Bill Cosby "drugged and raped" her after The Cosby Show's last episode.

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The FDA busted Chipotle in the act of using cat and dog meat and is forcing the chain to close all locations.

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A 179-year-old man is living in India.

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Hillary Clinton wants to ban beards and impose fines on the bearded.

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Sarah Palin said President Obama should put immigrants on a boat back to Mexico.

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Millions of Thanksgiving turkeys have been recalled due to avain flu.

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North Dakota named a landfill after President Obama.

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A teen boy was arrested for masturbating under a new Arizona law that prohibits 'self-rape.'

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President Obama filed federal charges against Darren Wilson moments after a grand jury's decision not to indict him was announced.

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JJ Watt was arrested for cocaine possession.

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The Department of Homeland Security uncovered a terrorist plot to attack Black Friday shoppers in several locations.

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President Obama has ordered the Federal Reserve to adopt the Euro.

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A protester in Ferguson, Missouri accidentally burned down his own house.

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Sarah Palin told Sean Hannity that Alaska has "all sorts of Eskimos and other foreigners."

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Officer Darren Wilson was shot outside of a 7-Eleven.

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President Obama's 16-year-old daughter Malia is pregnant.

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Facebook is disclosing the names of users who have posed with guns to the Department of Homeland Security.

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The CEO of Timberland said he doesn't want black people to wear Timberland boots.

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McDonald's will stop serving overweight customers beginning 1 January 2015.

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A whale carcass was found in a field in Utah.

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Facebook's Mark Zuckerberg has converted to Islam.

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Selena's killer Yolanda Saldivar has been granted early parole.

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Iggy Azalea was born a man.

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Illegal loggers accidentally cut down the world's oldest tree in the Amazon.

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Food stamps can now be used to purchase alcohol and tobacco products.

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Kylie Jenner announced that she was pregnant on Twitter.

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Jay-Z bought the Dodgers and is moving the team back to Brooklyn.

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The United States Postal Service is selling Queen Michelle Obama stamps.

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The popular Christmas toy Elf On The Shelf is run by the National Security Agency.

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Bin Laden shooter Rob O'Neill was targeted in a home invasion gone awry.

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Michael Jordan said that he doesn't care about the kids who die trying to buy his shoes.

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AMC has agreed to bring Beth Greene back to life on The Walking Dead.

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The Supreme Court ordered the Smithsonian Institute to disclose that they destroyed several giant skeletons in the early 1900s to preserve the mainstream narrative of evolution.

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Facebook will soon make all private inbox messages public to promote honesty among users.

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Burger King is taking Timbits off of the Tim Hortons menu.

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