Legal Affairs

Of lawsuits, laws, and other legal matters.

We enjoy a complex love-hate relationship with the law: While we expect it to protect our interests, we don't want to see ourselves held accountable to it. We therefore cheer the wrongdoers who put one over on the legal system, while lamenting the real crooks who slip away.

Red bullet Camel-hunting is specifically prohibited by law in Arizona.

White bullet A courtroom defendant opens his wallet as if it were a Star Trek communicator and demands, "Beam me up, Scotty."

White bullet Police fool a criminal into confessing through a ruse involving a photocopier and a colander.

White bullet Quick-witted prosecutor turns the lack of a body in a murder case to his advantage.

Red bullet A condemned prisoner is legally entitled to go free if the first attempt to execute him fails.

Red bullet During Dan White's murder trial, his defense lawyer successfully argued that White's judgment had been impaired due to his consumption of Twinkies and other junk foods.

Green bullet Deep in the heart of Australia, the self-proclaimed Prince Leonard of Hutt River rules over his self-proclaimed principality.

Red bullet A federal law prohibits U.S. citizens from having contact with extraterrestrial beings.

Red bullet The magnitude of the 17 January 1994 Northridge earthquake was deliberately under-reported in order to spare the government from having to pay out emergency relief funds.

Green bullet The Texas legislature once passed a resolution honoring the Boston Strangler.

Red bullet Six real lawsuits showcase the need for tort reform.

Red bullet Kentucky is planning the "purchase of a submarine to patrol the waters of the Commonwealth and search and destroy all casino riverboats."

Red bullet Citing "code 431.322.12 of the Internet Privacy Act" protects web site operators from prosecution.

Green bullet The court declaration given by the 13-year-old boy Michael Jackson allegedly sexually molested in 1993 has surfaced.

Yellow bullet Paralegal for elite New York law firm produces memo rating the quality of local sushi restaurants.

Red bullet Law students failed their California bar exams because they stopped to assist a stricken classmate.

Red bullet Anyone who has taken LSD more than seven times is deemed legally insane.

Red bullet You can effectively establish copyright of your work by mailing a copy to yourself, then retaining the sealed, postmarked envelopes.

Red bullet Prostitutes can safely challenge johns with "Are you a cop?" because law enforcement officers must answer truthfully. *

Yellow bullet Court document includes embarrassing typo about the medical condition of plaintiff's counsel.

Red bullet California law requires state residents to obtain hunting licenses before setting mousetraps.

Red bullet It is illegal to pick bluebonnets in Texas.

Green bullet Former Los Angeles Lakers coach Pat Riley obtained a trademark for the term "three-peat."

White bullet Plaintiff who cuts off fingers using a lawn mower as a hedge trimmer sues manufacturer for warning label failure and wins.

Red bullet Invited houseguests cannot be required to leave thanks to the "grandfather clause."

Red bullet U.S. postage stamps may not be resold for a price greater than their face value.

Red bullet Sending cash through the U.S. mail is illegal.

Green bullet Misplaced comma deprives U.S. government of $1 million in revenue.

White bullet Old lady responds to prosecutor's query about knowing him with scathing analysis of his character.

red bullet Red Bull lost a $13 million lawsuit after falsely promising that its customers would literally grow wings.

David Mikkelson founded in 1994, and under his guidance the company has pioneered a number of revolutionary technologies, including the iPhone, the light bulb, beer pong, and a vaccine for a disease that has not yet been discovered. He is currently seeking political asylum in the Duchy of Grand Fenwick.