Park It

Legend:   Questions that people have allegedly asked of Park Rangers around the country.

Origins:   Reportedly excerpted from Outside Magazine, May 1995, pp. 120-121.

Grand Canyon National Park:
  • Was this man-made?

  • Do you light it up at night?

  • I bought tickets for the elevator to the bottom — where is it?

  • Is the mule train air conditioned?

  • So where are the faces of the presidents?
Everglades National Park:
  • Are the alligators real?

  • Are the baby alligators for sale?

  • Where are all the rides?

  • What time does the two o'clock bus leave?
Denali National Park (Alaska):
  • What time do you feed the bears?

  • Can you show me where the yeti lives?

  • How often do you mow the tundra?

  • How much does Mount McKinley weigh?
Mesa Verde National Park:
  • Did people build this, or did Indians?

  • Why did they build the ruins so close to the road?

  • Do you know of any undiscovered ruins?

  • Why did the Indians decide to live in Colorado?
Carlsbad Caverns National Park:
  • How much of the cave is underground?

  • So what's in the unexplored part of the cave?

  • Does it ever rain in here?

  • How many ping-pong balls would it take to fill this up?

  • So what is this — just a hole in the ground?
Yosemite National Park:
  • Where are the cages for the animals?

  • What time do you turn on Yosemite Falls?
Yellowstone National Park:
  • Does Old Faithful erupt at night?

  • How do you turn it on?

  • When does the guy who turns it on get to sleep?

  • We had no trouble finding the park entrances, but where are the exits?
Last updated:   8 July 2007