Claim: The ongoing correspondence (and battle of wills) between a traveler and hotel maids. And all over a bar of soap.
Status: False.
Example: [Collected on the Internet, 1995]
Dear Maid, Please do not leave any more of those little bars of soap in my bathroom since I have brought my own bath-sized Dial. Please remove the six unopened little bars from the shelf under the medicine chest and another three in the shower soap dish. They are in my way. Thank you, Dear Room 635, I am not your regular maid. She will be back tomorrow, Thursday, from her day off. I took the Kathy, Relief Maid Dear Maid — I hope you are my regular maid. Apparently Kathy did not tell you about my note to her concerning the little bars of soap. When I got back to my room this evening I found you had added Please remove them. S. Berman Dear Mr. Berman, My day off was last Wed. so the relief maid left Your regular maid, Dear Mr. Berman, The assistant manager, Mr. Kensedder, informed me this A.M. that you called him last evening and said you were unhappy with your maid service. I have assigned a new girl to your room. I hope you will accept my apologies for any past inconvenience. If you have any future complaints please contact me so I can give it my personal attention. Call extension 1108 between 8AM and 5PM. Thank you. Elaine Carmen Dear Miss Carmen, It is impossible to contact you by phone since I leave the hotel for business at S. Berman Dear Mr. Berman, Your maid, Kathy, has been instructed to stop delivering soap to your room and remove the extra soaps. If I can be of further assistance, please call extension 1108 between 8AM and 5PM. Thank you, Elaine Carmen, Dear Mr. Kensedder, My bath-size Dial is missing. Every bar of soap was taken from my room including my own bath-size Dial. I came in late last night and had to call the bellhop to bring me S. Berman Dear Mr. Berman, I have informed our housekeeper, Elaine Carmen, of your soap problem. I cannot understand why there was no soap in your room since our maids are instructed to leave Martin L. Kensedder Dear Mrs. Carmen, Who the hell left 54 little bars of Camay in my room? I came in last night and found S. Berman Dear Mr. Berman, You complained of too much soap in your room so I had them removed. Then you complained to Elaine Carmen Dear Mrs. Carmen, Just a short note to bring you up-to-date on my latest soap inventory. As of today I possess:
Please ask Kathy when she services my room to make sure the stacks are neatly piled and dusted. Also, please advise her that stacks of more than S. Berman |
Origins: How
the story quoted above found its way onto the Internet remains a mystery, but who wrote it isn't. Renowned comic Shelley Berman has been using this bit in his act at least since 1980, and it appeared as a humor piece in his 1972 book A Hotel Is a Funny Place.
"Hotel Soaps" is a work of fiction. This brilliant and enthralling piece had no factual basis
Barbara "soft soaping" Mikkelson
Last updated: 10 April 2007
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