Legend: A lawyer is asked to demonstrate that the title to a Louisiana property was held before 1803.
Example:[Collected on the Internet, 1999]
A New Orleans lawyer sought a FHA loan for a client. He was told the loan would be granted if he could prove satisfactory title to a parcel of property being offered as collateral. The title to the property dated
back to 1803, which took the lawyer three months to track down.
After sending the information to the FHA, he received the following reply:
Upon review of your letter adjoining your client's loan application, we note that the request is supported by an Abstract of Title. While we compliment the able manner in which you have prepared and presented the application, we must point out that you have only cleared title to the proposed collateral back to 1803. Before final approval can be accorded, it will be necessary to clear the title back to its origin.
Annoyed, the lawyer responded as follows:
Your letter regarding title in Case No. 189156 has been received. I note that you wish to have title extended further than the 194 years covered by the present application. I was unaware that any educated person in this country, particularly those working in the property area, would not know that Louisiana was purchased by the U.S. from France in 1803, the year of origin identified in our application. For the edification of uninformed FHA bureaucrats, the title to the land prior to U.S. ownership was obtained from France, which had acquired it by Right of Conquest from Spain. The land came into possession of Spain by Right of Discovery made in the year 1492 by a sea captain named Christopher Columbus, who had been granted the privilege of seeking a new route to India by the then reigning monarch, Isabelle. The good queen, being a pious woman and careful about titles, almost as much as the FHA, took the precaution of securing the blessing of the Pope before she sold her jewels to fund Columbus' expedition. Now the Pope, as I'm sure you know, is the emissary of Jesus Christ, the Son of God. And God, it is commonly accepted, created this world. Therefore, I believe it is safe to presume that He also made that part of the world called Louisiana. He, therefore, would be the owner of origin. I hope to hell you find His original claim to be satisfactory. Now, may we have our damn loan?
They got it.
Origins: The above is an embellished version of a piece of legal humor that is periodically dusted off and circulated anew, always as a "true story." In 2006, it was once again taken down from the shelf, updated with references to Hurricane Katrina, and set loose again:
Only in Louisiana - you have to love this lawyer
A New Orleans lawyer sought an FHA loan for a client who lost his house in hurricane Katrina and wanted to rebuild. He was told the loan would be granted if he could prove satisfactory title to the parcel of property
granted if he could prove satisfactory title to the parcel of property being offered as collateral. The title to the property dated back to 1803, which took the Lawyer three months to track down. After sending the
information to the FHA, he received the following reply:
(Actual letter):
"Upon review of your letter adjoining your client's loan application, we note that the request is supported by an Abstract of Title. While we compliment the able manner in which you have prepared and presented the application, we must point out that you have only cleared title to the proposed collateral property back to 1803. Before final approval can be accorded, it will be necessary to clear the title back to its origin."
Annoyed, the lawyer responded as follows:
(Actual Letter):
"Your letter regarding title in Case No. 189156 has been received. I note that you wish to have title extended further than the 194 years covered by the present application. I was unaware that any educated person in this area, would not know that Louisiana was purchased, by the U.S., from France in 1803, the year of origin identified in our application. For the edification of uninformed FHA bureaucrats, the title to the land prior to U.S. ownership was obtained from France, which had acquired it by Right of Conquest from Spain. The land came into the possession of Spain by Right of Discovery made in the year 1492 by a sea captain named Christopher Columbus, who had been granted the privilege of seeking a new route to India by the Spanish monarch, Isabella. The good queen, Isabella, being a pious woman and almost as careful about titles as the FHA, took the precaution of securing the blessing of the Pope before she sold her jewels to finance Columbus' expedition. Now the Pope, as I am sure you may know, is the emissary of Jesus Christ, the Son of God, and God, it is commonly accepted, created this world. Therefore, I believe it is safe to presume that God also made that part of the world called Louisiana. God, therefore, would be the owner of origin and His origins date back to before the beginning of time, the world as we know it AND the FHA. I hope you find God's original claim to be satisfactory.
Now, may we have our loan?"
He got the loan.
Yet Internet-circulated and even Hurricane Katrina-specific versions notwithstanding, this piece of humor is more than half a century old. Compare it to this sighting from a 1955 legal tome in which the letter is directed at an anonymous (and ignorant) buyer rather than a bureaucracy-bound government lending agency:
As for conveyance, one of the most devastating replies to an inquisitive purchaser was made in response to persistent enquiries about the title prior to 1803 of certain land in Louisiana. Driven beyond the normal patience of conveyancers, the vendor's lawyer is reputed ultimately to have answered thus: "Please be advised that in the year 1803 the United States of America acquired the territory of Louisiana from the Republic of France by purchase; the Republic of France had in turn acquired title from the Spanish Crown by conquest, the Spanish Crown having originally acquired title by virtue of the discoveries of one Christopher Columbus, a Genoese sailor, who had been duly authorised to embark upon his voyage of discovery by Isabella, Queen of Spain; Isabella, before granting such authority, had obtained the sanction of His Holiness the Pope; the Pope is the Vicar on earth of Jesus Christ; Jesus Christ is the son and heir apparent of God; God made Louisiana."
It also appears in shortened form in this excerpt from a 1990 toastmasters' handbook:
A Louisiana attorney, hired by a New York firm to trace the abstract of a deed, went back to 1803, the year Louisiana was purchased from France. Then the firm wrote the lawyer that he would have to trace the ownership of the land further back than that. In due time he did so, reporting by letter as follows:
"Dear Sirs: I traced your deed back to 1803. Here it is complete. As you probably know, Lousiana was purchased from France in 1803; France had acquired Lousiana from the Spanish as the result of a successful war against the Spaniards. The Spaniards acquired Lousiana as the result of the explorations of an Italian named Columbus. Columbus was financially backed by Isabella and Ferdinand of Spain. They were given permission for Columbus's expedition by the Pope. The Pope is the vicar of Christ. Christ is the Son of God. God made Lousiana!"
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