Jes' Plain Jokes

Jokes repeated as 'true stories'.

As we mention elsewhere, the very same anecdote can be either a joke or a legend, depending upon whether or not it's related as a true story. However, simply slapping a "THIS IS TRUE" tag on an obvious piece of humor does not magically transform it into a legend. Nonetheless, people do it, and the result is that we get all sorts of jokes forwarded to us with "Is this true?" inquiries attached. To paraphrase Freud, sometimes a joke is just a joke; not every bit of humor requires deep analysis. So, if you see something familiar listed here, rest assured it's merely something intended to provoke a chuckle or two, not a description of a real-life incident.

  White bullet Blonde has trouble with her outboard boat at Lake Isabella.

  Red bullet Airline pilot takes seeing eye dog for a walk and causes consternation amongst the passengers.

  White bullet The trials of a man who names his dog 'Sex.'

  Red bullet Japanese are swilling hydrogen beer in an effort to improve their karaoke experience.

  Red bullet Fed up with the endless stream of wrong numbers meant for a local hotel, a Tennessee woman began fielding calls on their behalf.

  White bullet A man comes up with an inventive way to get even with two rude fellows.

  Red bullet The FBI's list of their 'Top 20 Homicides of the Year.'

  White bullet Chagrined highway patrolman admits policemen don't have balls.

  White bullet Misdirected e-mail announcing the sender has reached a hot place ends up with a recently bereaved woman.

  Red bullet Barbara Walters discovers the new Kuwaiti way to check for land mines.

  Red bullet Thieves mistakenly break into sperm bank and consume 'vanilla pudding' they find there.

  Red bullet Dick Van Dyke's real name is Penis Van Lesbian.

  White bullet Newscaster inadvertently makes sexually suggestive comment regarding an amount of snowfall.

  Red bullet General Motors head issues caustic press release in response to Bill Gates' comparison of advances in computing to the automotive industry.

  White bullet City boy turns a neat profit by raffling off a dead donkey to country folk.

  White bullet Placards for the terminally clueless: Here's your sign.

  White bullet 'Ghostly' rescue in a pushed car.

  Red bullet Kid mistakes sounds of Mom's sexual satisfaction for prayer and comments on it in a letter to sailors.

  Red bullet Native Americans provide NASA with a cryptic message to take to the moon.

  Red bullet Johnson & Johnson rectal thermometers are "personally tested."

  Red bullet The Treasury is recalling one state's quarters because they're jamming coin slots.

  Red bullet Super Bowl quarterback was formerly a foreign soldier who could toss grenades well.

  Red bullet Albert Einstein switches places with his chauffeur, then fields a question directed to the man folks thought was him.

  Red bullet Brothers who invented automobile air conditioning pull a fast one on Henry Ford.

  Red bullet A good Samaritan who saves Richard Nixon from drowning asks only one reward: that no one tell his father.

  White bullet Naked woman distracts drivers by washing their windshields while her partner robs the car.

  Red bullet A collection of humorous articles from the African press.

  Red bullet Mysterious white powdery substance on a football field is revealed to be the goal line.

  Red bullet Description of how the Titanic's sinking led to the creation of the Cinco de Mayo observance.

  Red bullet Casino tokens collected by Catholic churches in Las Vegas are sent to a monastery for sorting and redeemed by "chip monks."

  Red bullet Champion skier Picabo Street forbidden to answer the phone in the Intensive Care Unit where she works.

  White bullet Winston Churchill quipped that he preferred traveling on Italian cruise ships because "there is none of this nonsense about women and children first."

David Mikkelson founded in 1994, and under his guidance the company has pioneered a number of revolutionary technologies, including the iPhone, the light bulb, beer pong, and a vaccine for a disease that has not yet been discovered. He is currently seeking political asylum in the Duchy of Grand Fenwick.