Claim: Terrorist attempting to light the fuse to a bomb hidden in his rectum is foiled by airline personnel.
Example: [Collected on the Internet, 2002]
An America Airlines flight enroute from Los Angeles to JFK airport in New York City was diverted to Kansas City yesterday when a passenger was noticed attempting to light a fuse protruding from his rectum. Flight Attendant Bunny Haggarty said she noticed the man seated in an aisle seat leaning forward and holding a cigarette lighter behind his legs. “I though he was just trying to light a fart,” said Haggarty, “like our pilots are always doing on layovers. Then I saw this string-like thing hanging from his ass, and I got scared.” Haggarty immediately called for assistance. Several male passengers subdued the man before he was able to light the fuse.
After landing in Kansas City, authorities found the man’s intestines
were stuffed with military grade C4 explosive. FBI agents stated that it would have been a complete catastrophe if the passenger had succeeded in lighting the fuse. The passenger, Mohammed Bin Ali El Batout Nabeel Sin Abba Rahim Mansour Ali Baba, Age 25, was carrying fourteen passports from various countries throughout the middle east. Asked why he had stuffed himself full of plastic explosives, Ali Baba stated, “I was planning to blow the chit out of the plane. I wanted to kill all the Americans and Jews to show that we are a peace loving pipple.”
Airport security agents in Los Angeles remembered seeing Ali Baba as he boarded American
The security supervisor, Leroy Jackson, said he was somewhat concerned with the way Ali Baba walked. “Hell, man, the guy waddled like he had a stick of dynamite up his ass! Had I not been on the phone with my probation officer, I might have checked this guy out some more. “But, we want and need complete diversity in our passenger screening,” stated Jackson. “Plus, we think the flight crews on those planes pose more of a threat to safety than one raghead with an exploding ass. That’s why you can always find one of them pilots in barefeet waiting for his shoes to be
Federal officials are now referring to this latest terrorist attempt as a “butt bomb”. Security experts believe this could be even more difficult to detect than the primitive ‘shoe bomb’ used by terrorist Richard Reid. “I’m not sure how were going to check for ‘butt bombs,'” stated Jackson. “We don’t have technology to do it, but we’ve got to check somehow in the interest of safety,” adding, “I think we should start with Flight Crews first.”
Origins: The piece quoted above was created as a bit of heavy-handed humor satirizing lax airport security and the debate over whether ethnic profiling should be employed as an element of airport security screening procedures. When this article was posted to several Internet newsgroups on
Even if the premise of the story didn’t seem too far-fetched to believe, its intended humorous elements
Barbara “full groan” Mikkelson
Last updated: 18 March 2007