Legends and warnings about contimated food.

As fewer and fewer of us take part in the production and processing of the food we eat, we leave this vital task in the hands of faceless strangers and corporate monoliths — entities who may not have our best interests at heart (or stomach).

Red bullet Semen from several diseased men is found in restaurant food.*

Red bullet "Mayonnaise" in fast food chicken sandwich is pus from a tumor.*

White bullet Customer at fast food chicken outlet is served a batter-fried rat.*

Red bullet Girl's salivary glands become infected from roach eggs ingested with taco.*

Red bullet A human finger was found in a can of menudo.*

Red bullet Customer becomes sick after eating a steak at a chain restaurant; analysis of her meal reveals the presence of urine in the meat.*

Red bullet A human penis was found in a jar of fruit punch.*

White bullet Brewery employees discover body of worker in vat of beer.*

Yellow bullet Restaurant after-dinner mints contain urine from customers who fail to wash their hands.

Red bullet Dropped food remains germ-free if picked up within five seconds.

Green bullet The FDA has issued a warning about a possible connection between Hepatitis A and green onions.

Red bullet HIV+ blood has been slipped into ketchup dispensers in fast food restaurants.*

Red bullet An Atlanta restaurant was caught accepting a shipment of rats and mice.

Red bullet Patron dining at a Wendy's fast food outlet found a human finger in her bowl of chili.*

Green bullet A girl required surgery after swallowing a wire that had come loose from a barbeque grill cleaning brush and was cooked into a hamburger.

Multi-colored bullet Baby carrots are made from deformed full-sized carrots that have been permeated with chlorine.

Red bullet Bacteria formed on cut onions and potatoes is responsible for more food poisoning than is spoiled mayonnaise.

Red bullet Growth hormones injected into chicken wings cause ovarian cysts in women.

Red bullet Pesticide used on mandarin oranges imported from China causes severe allergic reactions.

Red bullet A worker at Pepsi has contaminated the product by injecting HIV-infected blood into it.

Red bullet Studies have demonstrated that Monsanto-developed corn contains toxins that cause organ failure in rats and adverse effects in pregnant women.

Red bullet Kiwi fruit from China contains dangerous growth hormones.

Red bullet A cook attempted to poison George Washington with tomatoes.

Red bullet The government forced KFC to stop using the word 'chicken' because they serve meat from mutant animals.

Green bullet Some food products sold by Aldi in early 2013 contained horsemeat.

Yellow bullet Video shows a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup infested with maggots.

Multi-colored bullet 37 million bees were killed after a large GMO cornfield was planted in Ontario.

Yellow bullet Farmers are saturating wheat crops with Roundup pesticide before each harvest, causing an increase in wheat-related ailments.

red bullet Pringles contain a chemical that is known to cause cancer.

red bullet The cremated ashes of Pringles' creator were packaged and sold to customers.

red bullet McDonald's employee Bubba Conroy admitted on Twitter to spitting on food served to white customers.

red bullet Crocodile bile is a lethal poison.

Yellow bullet A Facebook user found small pieces of metal in her baby's cup of Kraft Easy Mac.

red bullet Maraschino cherries are produced using a toxic dye that has been banned for human consumption.

Yellow bullet Pieces of glass and dead ants were found in packages of Dippin' Stix.

red bullet California wine contains dangerous levels of arsenic.

red bullet Gel balls have been found in Gerber Graduates puffs.

David Mikkelson founded in 1994, and under his guidance the company has pioneered a number of revolutionary technologies, including the iPhone, the light bulb, beer pong, and a vaccine for a disease that has not yet been discovered. He is currently seeking political asylum in the Duchy of Grand Fenwick.