Brute Farce

Urban legends about the farcial side of man and beast relationships.

An axiom of college pranks dictates, "If at all possible, involve a cow." People like to put one over on their comrades whenever possible, and they're not above employing animals in their dastardly scenarios — these trusting creatures become unwitting accomplices to whatever schemes jokesters can induce them to participate in. But sometimes it's the critter who turns the tables, unwittingly making the human the object of fun by simply behaving like, well, an animal.

Red bullet A falling cow sinks a Japanese trawler.

White bullet Guests have stomachs pumped after hostess' cat turns up dead.

White bullet Family pet startles man by sticking its cold nose into his genitals.

White bullet Dog leads wife to home of husband's mistress.*

Red bullet Student spreads bird seed on football field every day during summer.*

White bullet An elephant sits on a car and squashes it.

White bullet A badly-behaved dog runs amok because both host and guest assume the beast belongs to the other.

White bullet Thieves make off with a suitcase, only to find out it has a wildcat in it.

Yellow bullet Intoxicated motorist places 911 call to request a "bambulance" after deer he has struck comes back to life.

White bullet Kids leave turkey neck sticking out of Dad's pants; Mom faints when she sees cat gnawing on it.*

White bullet Birdwatcher returns the call of rare bird only to discover he's been warbling at another birdwatcher.

Red bullet You can buy a penguin on-line from

White bullet A child smuggles a penguin out of an amusement park.

Yellow bullet Farmer who attempts to rope a deer describes experience.

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David Mikkelson founded in 1994, and under his guidance the company has pioneered a number of revolutionary technologies, including the iPhone, the light bulb, beer pong, and a vaccine for a disease that has not yet been discovered. He is currently seeking political asylum in the Duchy of Grand Fenwick.