Claim: Doper trying to avoid police attention is pulled over for driving far under the speed limit.
Example: [Collected via e-mail, November 2001]
Origins: A number of drug legends about LSD (lysergic acid diethylamide) make the point that the hallucinogen so disorders the auditory and visual perceptions of users as to cause them to lose touch with reality. Whereas in other cautionary tales of this sort, that lesson is provided in far more
A 1973 print version of this legend refers to it as a "dope tale, 1970." That version expands on the humor inherent to the tale, describing the acid-tripping driver as "just chugging onto the Golden Gate Bridge" in his "gaily painted hearse" and quietly grooving to the setting sun and the automobiles around him (which he perceives as shiny fruits and vegetables with people in them) when the long arm of John Law makes a grab for him. Once again, the drugged-up motorist proves so out of touch with the real world that when asked how fast he thought he was going, he mentally knocks a few MPH off his first guess, then replies "Uh, sixty-five?" "You were going four miles an hour," says the unamused cop. "Get out of the car."
As with the other, more scary, pharmaceutical legends, the lesson this LSD tale is intended to communicate is that drugs mess up the minds of users far, far more than those who go on these trips realize.
Barbara "daze tripper" Mikkelson
Sightings: In the 1996 film Black Sheep, two characters unwittingly high on nitrous oxide that has escaped from the trunk of the police car they're driving are pulled over for driving
Last updated: 15 October 2013
Miller, Chris. "Pharmacopoeia." National Lampoon. March 1973 (p. 74).