It’s tough enough for the average college student to gain admission to the educational institution of his choice, to finance his education, and pass all his classes and graduate without having to deal with all the complicated and arcane rules and regulations the administration puts in his way. And then there are all the rules the students themselves make up simply to poke fun at academic bureaucracy.



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Student finances his education through donations of one cent each.


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Playboy magazine compiles annual rankings of America’s top party schools.


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A student whose roommate commits suicide automatically receives a 4.0 average for the semester.


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School serves ice cream at every meal due to the wishes of a benefactor.


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School requires all students to pass a swim test because benefactor’s child drowned.


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Student taking exam calls for cakes and ale under ancient,
never-rescinded regulation.


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Respected instructor is forced by university regulations to obtain an advanced degree in the subject he already teaches; the first class he enrolls in uses a textbook he wrote.


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Students who arrive to find a tape recorder spewing the day’s lecture retaliate by leaving tape recorders of their own behind to capture it.


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Henry Kissinger was the last student to graduate from Harvard with perfect grades.


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College fills open faculty position through cynical job posting.


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All colleges have regulations specifying how long students must wait if an instructor fails to appear, and these wait times vary depending upon the academic rank of the instructor.


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Dwight D. Eisenhower became president of Columbia University because the school’s trustees confused him with his brother, Milton.


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Applicant turned down for a university spot as a student or instructor sends letter declining the rejection.


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Furman University changed the name of its mascot to avoid an embarrassing acronym.


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College cafeteria food is laced with laxatives.


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The photograph used for a University of Wisconsin application booklet was altered to include the face of a black student.


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Harvard is offering tuition-free education to African-American students majoring in the sciences.