The incident happened on the New Jersey Turnpike. The guy was pulled over for drunk driving, and while the officer was questioning him, a traffic accident happened a short distance away. The officer told him to wait in the patrol car, while he went over to work the accident.
After about 15 minutes or so, the guy got behind the wheel and took off. He got home, parked the car in his garage, closed the garage door and went inside. He told his wife to tell anyone that asked, that he had been home all day, and laid down on the couch and went to sleep.
After about 2-3 hours (I wonder what took them so long), the police showed up. He told them he had been home all day. They asked to see his car, and when the opened the garage door, there was the cruiser, with the lights still flashing.
[Collected on the Internet, 2004]
A man goes to a party and has too much to drink. His friends plead with him to let them take him home. He says no — he only lives a mile away. About five blocks from party, the police pull him over for weaving and ask him to get out of the car and walk the line. Just as he starts, the police radio blares out a notice of a robbery taking place in a house just a block away. The police tell the party animal to stay put, they will be right back and they hop a fence and run down the street to the robbery.
The guy waits and waits and finally decides to drive home. When he gets there, he tells his wife he is going to bed, and to tell anyone who might come looking for him that he has the flu and has been in bed all day.
A few hours later the police knock on the door. They ask if
True story, told by the driver at his first AA meeting.
Origins: This appealing legend has been around at least since 1978 and is told in both Britain and the United States. In some versions, the drunk is hauled off to face the magistrate once the police cruiser is found in his garage, in others the police simply swap vehicles and are on their way.
At various times this apocryphal tale will work itself into the media as a recent news story (Paul Harvey in 1986, for example). In 1987 folklorist Jan Harold Brunvand said of it:
The police spokesman Levey consulted, however, denied any knowledge of the event, except in the form of a story he had heard going around some
Sightings: Look for this legend in the 1997 film
Last updated: 31 March 2011
Brunvand, Jan Harold.   Curses! Broiled Again!     New York: W. W. Norton, 1989.   ISBN 0-393-30711-5   (pp. 101-103).     Brunvand, Jan Harold.   Too Good To Be True.     New York: W. W. Norton, 1999.   ISBN 0-393-04734-2   (pp. 109-110).     de Vos, Gail.   Tales, Rumors and Gossip.     Englewood: Libraries Unlimited, 1996.   ISBN 1-56308-190-3   (p. 179). Harvey, Paul. For What It's Worth. New York: Bantam, 1991. ISBN 0-553-07720-1 (p. 131).     Smith, Paul.   The Book of Nasty Legends.     London: Routledge & Kegan Paul, 1983. ISBN 0-00-636856-5   (p. 39).
Also told in: